Angel (Peter Pan Fanfic)

One last time

She gripped the rim of the porcelain sink and tried to steady her hands to no avail. They trembled under the imaginary force Lyla felt responsible to uphold.

"One last time," she reassured herself.

One. Last. Time.

Lyla looked at her reflection and barely recognized herself. She looked like a ghost. Her face was pale and gaunt. Her cheekbones jutted out along with her jaw bone starkly. Dark shadows were painted under her eyes like bruises. She was underweight and was trembling head to toe. Just one more night. You only have to do this one last time...

Lyla sighed and shakily walked over to her bed. Her hand shook as she pulled back the covers and lied down. One last time... One last time... Just one last time...

*** Lyla was down on her knees in the mud. Heavy rain poured overhead with a sorrowful rage. It was almost as if God himself was crying in disappointment over Lyla. The wind whipped and bit at her dripping face.

In Lyla's blurred vision she saw everyone she'd ever known around her in a disorderly circle. They leered and snarled at her in disdain. The harsh rain spattered in her eyes but she could pick a few out instantly: Peter Pan, Apollo, Michael, her father, Declan, her mother...

They all stared down at her with complete and utter loathing. They were all clean and pristine, while she was muddy and drenched in the rain. They all began to spit verbal abuse at her at once.

"You're so bloody selfish Lyla! And ungrateful!"
"Maybe you deserve to be put in a fricking cage!"
"You don't belong here!"
"Even before you were born you were unwanted. Unloved."
"If you don't belong with the fellow unloved, could you ever belong anywhere?"
"You're weak! You're nothing! Just a lonely little Lost Girl. Unwanted and unloved,"
"I don't even know why I bother with you anymore,"

Each hateful declaration weighed on her heart more and more. She felt a heavy air of despair shroud her. "No please. Don't do this. I can do better I promise."

The fierce verbal attacks continued. The rain had turned to hail now, puncturing Lyla's skin, causing her to bleed. She dug her hands deep into the muddy ground in her frustration.

Lyla looked up to see Declan step forward. "Why didn't you save me, Lyla? You could've saved me! You saw the torture I went through and you did nothing. It's all your fault! My blood is on your hands!"

"Declan please," Lyla pleaded hopelessly," I tried! I tried, I promise! I did my best!"

"Yeah? Well it wasn't good enough! You aren't good enough..." Declan said before merging back into the crowd.

This time, Lyla's mother emerged from the throng. She stood tall and statuesque. The woman remained unfazed and stoic as a roman statue. And just as cold as if she was sculpted from the same marble. She hardly glanced at her daughter, instead paying attention to her manicured nails.

"God. Do you have any idea what a burden you are? I always knew. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I wanted to get rid of you. This, disgusting, ungrateful, child that ruined my life. It's your fault I'm dead. How ironic that the stupid kid I never wanted was my downfall," Lyla listened to her mother rant. She let out a sharp sob.

"Mama please! I need you! Don't leave me like this again. I'll do better! I can do better! I promise!" Lyla cried in desperation. Her mother had always been a big weak spot. What child didn't crave the love and affection of their mother? Especially Lyla, who never received it when the woman was still alive. Miranda Amaranth shook her head and disappeared into the circle.