Neon Genesis Evangelion: Bohemian Rhapsody

Chapter One

Nothing really matters to me.

Any way the wind blows.

Why am I piloting the EVA?

Why does no one understand me?

Why does Asuka hate me?

Track 26 on Shinji Ikari's cassette ends right there as he questions these exact things to himself.

It was the month of November in Tokyo-3, and the cold air had swept over the fortress city. Underground at NERV, Shinji Ikari sat alone in a dim hallway, listening to his music, waiting for Asuka to change out of her plugsuit so Misato could take the two of them back to their apartment. Misato had opted to wait in the car, knowing that the lonely boy she took in needed more time alone these days. Shinji, however, wishes that he could wait with Misato, as this time of day is usually the most agonizing for him.

Recently, Asuka had been getting ahead of Shinji in their synchronization tests, and more than anything she loved to gloat about it. To fuel her own need for attention and praise, she demands for him to always wait for her so the two of them can walk to Misato's car together, all so she can put him down and raise herself on a pedestal. Shinji complies, only because he doesn't have the energy anymore to deny her.

'She doesn't care about how I feel...she only cares about herself...' He thought, too drowned in his own mind to even listen to the music anymore. 'That kiss...my first kiss...that didn't mean anything to her...she was disgusted...she thought I was pathetic...she only did it for a laugh...Asuka....' All of a sudden, Shinji was snapped back into reality, as he felt an iron fist reign down on the top of his skull. He let out a yelp of pain, not bothering to look up as he already knew who the culprit was. "Come on, stupid, time to go home." Said the stern and proud voice of Asuka, as she started walking without him. Shinji slowly followed behind, obeying her, as if he were a scared animal.

As usual, Asuka started going on her usual tirades about how fantastic she is, and how much of a failure Shinji and Rei, the pilot of Unit-00, are. Shinji tries as best as he can to drown her out, but she always makes sure he's listening, whether it be from stopping him for a moment, cussing him out in German, or any other sort of tactic. Of course, Shinji knew how cruel this was, and he would try to get her to stop, but nobody else cared enough to help him. Not even Misato, the one who took him in as her own son, seemed to think about how this was affecting him. All she saw it as was banter between the two kids she's looking after, and nothing more. As the two pilots approached the car at the entrance of the Geofront, Asuka made one final stab to the heart of the poor boy who believed nobody loved him.

"Your father is right to have so many females working on the front lines, there's no need for a useless male like yourself! He's just waiting to replace you with a dummy!" She said playfully, laughing in her usual tone. Up until now, Shinji had always responded to Asuka's rants, no matter how small of a reply it was. But now, he didn't say anything at all. Asuka was cruel, but Shinji didn't think that she would go this far to only boost her own ego. In that moment, without any effort whatsoever, she had completely broken him. His heart, mind, and all. Shinji quietly stepped into the passenger's seat of Misato's car, turning up his music so loud until it made his ears bleed. Asuka, a bit taken back by his lack of response, slowly got into the back seat, trying not to think about it too much. Misato immediately started driving the two teens back to their house, looking over at the boy with concern, but not enough for her to think that there's something wrong.

Upon arriving to their apartment, Shinji, immediately went to his room, refusing to stay and eat dinner. When he entered his bedroom, he gently tossed his bag on the floor, looking at himself in the mirror.