Neon Genesis Evangelion: Bohemian Rhapsody

Chapter Eight

Mama
Life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away

For a solid minute, Shinji couldn't say or do anything. He didn't even know what to say or what to do. He couldn't even process that his mother was sitting right in front of him, and whether or not this was real wasn't even considered as a question in his mind.

Yui smiled once again and stood up from the stool, walking towards Shinji and opening her arms. "It seems like it's been a long time since you've had a hug, sweetie," she said softly, tilting her head a bit. At this moment, any pent up emotions Shinji had felt for the past eleven years started bursting out, as he ran into his mother's arms, holding onto her tightly and sobbing.

"I-...I-...." Shinji tried to say between each wave of tears, but not being able to say anything. He didn't know what to say, or how to react. All he could do was cry and hug Yui until his arms broke, and even beyond that. She hugged back gently, stroking his hair just like she used to whenever he'd fall asleep on the couch so many years ago. "It's okay, Shinji, it's okay..." she said, very gently sitting him down next to her on the piano bench.

"H-How...how are you...?" Shinji started to ask, gently letting go of her. "Oh, Shinji...I wish I could explain everything...but unfortunately, we don't have much time...." she said, smiling a bit, but still visibly sad. "W-What do you mean...?" he asked, not wanting to accept the idea of having to be without her again. She gently put her index finger up to her lips, directing him to be quiet, before slowly pointing her finger out to the window in front of the piano. "Look outside," she said, watching as he started to peer out into the distance. "W-Wait...what...??" he asked, astonished as to what he saw.

It was Asuka in her EVA, seeming to be right on top of the window, fighting off the Angel. Shinji nearly backed up off of the piano stool, almost falling to the floor. "I...I-I don't understand...m-mom, where am I??" he asked, looking over at her in confusion. "You're in the cockpit of Unit-01. Misato put you in here to keep you safe from the Angel that was attacking, but things seemed to have gone sideways with their attack on it," she said solemnly, looking back out at the window. "That girl, Asuka...she's fighting so hard to protect you...the Angel's causing her to freeze, but she still won't stop...she's got a lot of fire in her...I can see why you like her," she said, smiling and snickering a bit.

Shinji was still confused, getting up and walking around the living room, holding his head. "This doesn't make any sense, this doesn't make any sense..." he started muttering to himself. "If I'm in the EVA, how are you here? This has to just be in my head but...you seem so real...how is this happening...?" he asked, feeling his anxiety start to ramp up. Yui sighed and stood up slowly, walking over to him. "Shinji...there's a reason only you could pilot this EVA. There's a reason why they don't have trained adults with military experience do it. There's a reason why you and Asuka can't switch EVAs. Because her mother isn't your mother, and I'm not Asuka's."

Shinji only found himself even more perplexed, backing up a bit and feeling somewhat dazed. "But...that doesn't make any sense...you're dead...are you trying to tell me that you're here in the EVA??" he asked, watching as his mother didn't seem to be fazed at all by the question. Rather, she seemed to be smiling, as if he figured out the answer to one of life's most burning questions. "Wait...all this time...all these years...you were here...?" he asked, feeling like the metaphorical cogs and gears in his head were finally turning. "The EVA going berserk...the weird experiences I've had...all of this...was you...?"

Yui slowly walked towards him, gently holding both of his hands, rubbing their backs with her thumbs. "Shinji, listen to me. I wish I could explain everything to you right now. The truth about the EVAs, the Angels, Instrumentality, all of it. But right now you need to wake up...you need to go back," she said softly, wishing more than anything that they could have much more time for her to tell him everything he's ever wanted to know. "Why...? Everyone's better off without me...Asuka hates me...everyone does...if I went back, everyone would think less of me because I...w-was a coward...it would be better if I just never woke up..." he said, trying to back away, but finding that she won't let go of his hands.

"Shinji...love hurts...it truly does...the ties that bind us are also the ties that hurt us the most...you're not a coward...you're not any less of a person because you were in a dark place. You're still worthy of love. You still have the capability for it," she said gently, caressing his cheek. "Now...your friends need help...now more than ever. They all love you. They all want you to come back to them. Please...keep living for them...and keep living for yourself. Everything will be alright. Okay?"

Shinji slowly started feeling the cockpit of the entry plug form around his legs, as his arms and legs started to become skinnier. He looked back up at his mother, starting to smile and tear up once again, gently hugging her one more time. "Okay...I will...thank you..." he said, feeling her start to disappear from within his grasp.

"Goodbye, Shinji...I love you...always, and forever..." he heard her say, kissing his forehead one last time before vanishing. Shinji slowly looked down at his neck, weakly moving his arm over to it to hold the cross that Misato wrapped around his neck. He smiled gently, still feeling the tears roll down his face, but finally starting to feel that sense of love and clarity he had missed for so long.

"Goodbye...mother...."

To be continued...

(I don't know if I'll get the next chapter done today, but at the very least I wanted to get these two done!
I don't see myself as the best expert on mental health out there, but I want anyone to know that no matter what, whatever you're going through, you're still worthy of being loved, and you still are loved.
Thank you all, and stay tune for the final three-four chapters of the fic!)