Deadly Discern - Book Three ✔️

Chapter Twelve - Onwards -

Alex POV

There's nowhere else to go but forwards, and despite my lack of clear direction, I am working towards a goal of sorts. Starting with Danica learning how to properly defend herself.

I'm unwilling to give her current 'skills' any credit as they're unknown and shaky at best. The thing that still surprises me is her apparent knowledge of combat, though she's never been taught anything of the kind. We will eventually come to figure her out, but who knows how long it will take us to get there in the end. It could be years before we fully grasp what started it all and what Danica is really capable of. Years of discovering and testing and pushing. Because I don't doubt for a second that I'll need to push Danica to her limits to figure her out.

I have to openly admit to myself that the not knowing is what I am most fearful of.

Not knowing what is going on inside her head, not knowing what she wants most, and worst of all, not knowing if I'll be able to actually make a difference to her life.

Danica sits silently staring out of the passenger side window of the car, watching and thinking while I drive with a purpose towards the gym. I feel better now knowing that she is by my side again, but there is so much more that comes with having her in my life than I had ever imagined before. I have more knowledge about her early years, about the night that changed her life forever and about Kate. But what good has that done me? None. My expedition for answers gave me more questions than anything.

I spare a glance at the beautiful woman sitting beside me and find her staring intently at her hands. Frowning, I think heavily about the idea of knowing exactly what goes on in her pretty little head, though I don't believe all of her thoughts would be so pretty, which is what puts me quickly back in my place. Her mind could be really messy. And I don't think I could handle that.

Danica decides to look at me then, I feel her gaze upon me and turn my head to meet her sight, she smiles, I smile forcefully back and then we go back to our silent musings, acting as though nothing unusual is happening. When in actuality, everything is a little fucked up and confusing. But we won't settle on that truth right now. I'm not quite ready for it, the talking and the planning and getting inside her headspace, it's all too much for me to handle. What I can handle is action, hands on action. It might just help my fragile state of mind.

This thought alone drives me to thinking of Danica's state of mind and how it would surely be in a worse place than mine, though wouldn't everyone struggle in her position? With the same things thrown at them they would fight themselves day in and day out, I know I would. This is what has been motivating me all along. Danica and her inner battle. No one could truly know what she is going through right now.

I wont ignore the fact that she has admitted her want to continue her killer deeds, she was honest when she opened up to me about wanting to kill, I can't fault her on that. The only issue is how I deal with it. My girlfriend wants to kill. And I've agreed to help her in doing so. I am an accessory to murder by all accounts and I do realise just how real it all is.

I guide my car smoothly into a parking spot and step out and onto the pavement, Danica follows suit, I turn and watch a second as she walks a few paces behind me, roughly tying up her long dark hair. I watch her appreciatively, dressed in black skin tight leggings and a grey tee, the figure hugging outfit showing off her trim, toned body. Me however, I'm wearing a pair of navy blue shorts and a white singlet, being that they're loose and easy to move around in.

Looking forward again, I accept the reality of our situation. It's all or nothing, and facing the issue at hand is all we can do. I take in a silent but deep breath, readying myself as we enter the building.