AFRICAN JOKES: medicine for heart attacks

part 5

How would you name your triplets?
British: ALEXANDRA, ALEXIS, ALEXIA.
Americans: SYDNEY, DISNEY, KIDNEY.
Nigerians: ISKABA, ISKELEBETE, ISKOLOBOTO.

REASON WHY SOME IGBO PEOPLE DON'T GREET ELDERS IN THEIR VILLAGE...

Just greet an old woman and she will tell you the story of your generation like;

Morning Nwam, Bia, Is this not Okechukwu the son of Ebube, the man who raped two girls before getting married to Obiageli the daughter of the
wine tapper who fell from a palm tree while staring at the buttocks of Juliliana the village famous prostitute who aborted sixteen pregnancies before getting married to Okeke the Dibia man from the neighboring village. Is it not your Grandfather that died of madness?
Nwam, so you have grown so big, Kedu?

A Wife took her very ill husband to see d doctor. After d medical routine check-up.... the Doctor confidentially told wife: ...... Give him healthy breakfast daily, be pleasant & in good mood, don't fight.. Cook tasty dinner & don't discuss your problems wit him. Stop watching TV shows & facebook. Don't demand for money or new jewels. If u can do this for one year, your husband will be ok. On the way home.,
Husband asks wife: What did the doctor say..?
Wife: Your survival is not possible!

_*WIFE:*_ honey let's play a game.
*_HUSBAND:_* okay. What's the game about? 
_*WIFE:*_ if i mention a fruit, you'll run to the left side of the room and touch the wall, if i mention a color, you'll run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If u run to the wrong direction, you'll give me all your salary for this month.
_*HUSBAND:*_ Okay! And if u fail in your turn, I'll have your salary too right?
_*WIFE:*_(smiles) yes darling!
_*HUSBAND:*_ okay. (stands up ready to run in any direction)
_You start_
_*WIFE:*_       *Orange*!

_4 HOURS NOW..._

The husband is still standing on the spot wondering if she meant the fruit or the color.

Moral lesson...  *Fear women*.

How to Borrow Airtime from MTN Without
Paying Back And still borrow another one
This will work for MTN Users Only Take
Note!!
Follow the Steps below
1. Borrow airtime by dialing *606#.
2. After you have exhausted the borrowed
airtime, Dial *326# and change your date
to 1/01/2010.
3. Remove your battery and Sim.
4. Insert d battery&Sim card back
5.Dial *617*any amount you want to borrow
Again then #
6. Wait for 10seconds
Then you will receive a feedback Message from MTN
saying :- Dear customer, may something bigger than
Transformer fall on ur head. Ole.
Thank me later
SOLUTION MASTERZ

Scientists have discovered a new muscle in the human body called paraphalix Engina. It is the longest muscle ever discovered in living mammals. It connects the eye lid to the anus. *That is why the anus opens when you blink.* Now look at this idiot trying to blink to see if it's true. I couldn't accept to be the only idiot,shyaaaa!
#the flatterer

Driver Buba (a Fulani man) is being interrogated after an accident …
Policeman: So, Buba how did you end up killing 49 people?
Buba : I was driving @80km/h when I suddenly saw 2 men crossing the road and on the other side, a wedding was taking place. I hit the brakes but they failed, so I had to make a choice:
Either I hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: Hit the 2 men of course!
Buba : exactly! We think alike, but after hitting one of them, the other man escaped into the wedding party, so I went after him....

BREAKING News
Bill Gates Resigns As
Chairman Of Microsoft

After Receiving The Following Letter From A NIGERIAN Hausa Man.

Dear Sir,

I Have Some Kwashins To Ask:
Lamba Wan - Za Keyboard Alpabets Are Not In Order, When Will You Launch The Correct Version?