rhapsodic thoughts

fuck

hello world, it's me again

finally expressing my feelings to a screen and feeling like my eyes will rain

tears drip one by one down my cheeks like they did a year ago

nothing went wrong, other than everything, ya know?

i don't know what i want in life

other than to be successful

but how can i be so

if i don't even try at all?

there's never enough time

to be happy, do good, and socialize

so what should i do?

other than pretend that everything is perfectly fine

i'm about to have a panic attack in the middle of school

i have hidden this inner sadness that has consumed my soul

yes, things make me happy, but it's just getting to be too much

every single thing is overwhelming me and i want to loose touch

i am dying, i am crying, and my heart hurts all the time

you can't see this, i don't let you, cause i couldn't let you hurt too

but it's gotten to the point that if i don't write this down

it will eat me up and swallow me whole without a single regard to the rest of the world

so hear this plea for help, cause i haven't ever had one before

and obviously it is serious if i'm finally coming forward

i have never felt so empty, never so confused

is it even help that i want?

it's my problem!

it's my fault!

but how the fuck am i supposed to solve this?

i'm finally completely out of luck

i'm not who i want to be!

i'm not fucking happy!

i give up all the time

yet say you can change anything if you have the right mind

i've been battling this for a month

and i thought i'd get better

but honestly all i've been doing

is getting worse by the second

i am not depressed

i am not crazy

but i sure am close

don't try to take my honest words as a joke

// not my best work but also not my best mind, hope you enjoyed anyhow