Two days later, they finally arrived back at the palace. They walked quickly, Lailah seemed like she was in a rush to tell her Aunt the good news. Before they reached the throne room, they were met with a guard that Jed had never met before.
"Lailah!" He said. "Good, you're back." He didn't seem excited to see Lailah, but more relieved.
"Jandan, what's wrong, did something happen?" Lailah asked. Jandans face seem to drop.
"Have you not heard?"
"Heard what, Jandan. I only just returned from the Witch Sector."
"It's Nat. She was..."
"Nat was what, Jan." She grabbed Jan on the shoulders.
"Shaegin was the only one who made is back from the scour mission, Captain."
"What."
"Nat. She's dead." Lailah dropped her arms from Jan's shoulders and seemed to freeze. "I'm so sorry." Jan said. He was crying too, they had been friends. Lailah ran out of the palace.
~
Lailah thought she would have needed blood circulation in order to go numb, but what she was feeling now seemed pretty close. She could barely breath. The vaguely heard Jed running after her and she bolted, and perhaps another set of footsteps. She didn't care. She didn't care. She shouldn't have let Nat take the mission. But she had begged. That wasn't an excuse. She had let this happen. Now she literally had no one left. She ran. She did not look back. She ran until she saw a hill, the hill she always went when she needed time to think, and slowed to a walk. She heard Jed stop a small way behind her, but she didn't care. Her world was imploding. She walked to the top of the hill. On the other side of the hill, was a flat plane. No trees, dead grass, as far as the eye could see. And she could see very far. Sometimes she had come here with Nat and they would hypothesise what was on the other side of this field, but neither of them dared to make the journey across it. They had joked about running away together when they were little, away from the royalty and the responsibility. Now she wished she had taken Nat up on that offer. But instead she had said no, she might be Queen one day, she needed to stay for her people. But then Jed had come along and distracted her, torn her guard down. Now Nat was dead. She was gone. A cool breeze hit her face and she was suddenly aware of cold it was. Right on queue, Jed came up behind her and wrapped his jumper around her shoulders. He must have grabbed it before he ran after her. She didn't look at him. Couldn't even bring herself to thank him. He didn't seem like he expected it anyway.
"Please don't ask me if I'm okay."
"I wasn't going to say anything."
"Then why did you follow me."
"So you weren't alone." She paused at that, then turned to him.
"I'm 100 years old, Jed. I can handle grief."
"You've never lost Nat before though. Each person you loose leaves a different kind of hole in your heart, in a different place every time, I know that better than anyone." She held his stare. She nodded at him. He stepped closer to her and pulled her into a hug. "I've never seen you cry." Lailah turned to see Almar standing a little way off. At their eye contact he approached them, and Jed stepped away.
"That's because I'm a Vampire who runs an army and is heir to the throne. I don't cry."
"Please don't turn it off." Almar said. He had no expression on his face, but his voice cracked.
"Why shouldn't I?"
"Because I asked you nicely." Jed wondered if that was a good argument or not. "I think I at least deserve that." Lailah held his eye contact for a slight moment more, before he turned and left.
"Almar." She called after him, her voice cracking. He didn't turn back. She started crying. "I'm so sorry." She whispered, and fell to the ground.
She sat on the floor, Jed next to her, and that sat there like that for a long time.
~
Some time after that, Jed must have carried her back to the city, and let her walk herself into the palace to avoid questions. She was now sitting on her bed, staring at the place Nat had been sitting not two weeks ago. Had it only been two weeks? God. She stood up and walked around her room, turning over each and every photo Nat was in. Until every photo was flat on its face. Now she was truly alone. She had to focus on winning the war now, and with no collateral, there was nothing stopping her from being reckless and ruthless. There was a tap at the door.
"Come in." She said. Of course, it was Jed.
"I need to talk to you about something. I should wait after today, but I think today gives me all the more reason to ask you now. I don't want to overwhelm you."
"I'll suck it up. What is it?"
"We need stronger troops."
"I know."
"We need them now."
"I know." She was looking down. He needed to ask now.
"Turn me into a Vampire." Her eyes snapped up. Whoops, he really hadn't phrased that as a question.
"I'm sorry, WHAT?"
"You heard me. If I'm going to survive this, I need to be able to keep up with your troops, Lailah. Turn me."
"No."
"Lailah please."
"NO."
"We need to win this war Lailah, it's the most important thing right now."
"How dare you think that winning this war means more to me than you do." She said. She was standing now, walking towards him. "Shit."
"What."
"I said to much. Again" She covered her mouth. She tried to stand up but he stopped her. He grabbed her arms and pulled them away from her mouth and put them on his hips, and a second later his lips were on hers. She squeaked a little, and didn't move. She did not protest and he opened his mouth for her and she did the same for him.
"I have wanted to do that for a long time." He said to her.
"I know." Her face was blank, but for once she certainly did not look bored.
"You need to leave." She said.
"What?"
"I need you to go."
"But you just said-"
"I know. Please. Go." She said, and stepped out of his arms. He didn't ask any questions. He left quietly.
