Forcedly Yours [R-18]

Chapter 33

I opened the door before Leyton could beat me to it. It was Saturday kaya alam kong wala sila ngayon dito sa bahay. Day off nilang pareho.

I went to the house without waiting for Leyton. I refused to look back either.

Galit pa 'rin ako sa kanya.
Yes, losing my baby might not have been his fault but the events that led us to the hospital still guts me. How dare he imply that I would kill my baby?

Umiiyak nanaman ako. Gusto kong magdabog paakyat ng kwarto but I was too tired to do that. I just wanted to lay down and cry more until I couldn't think about my baby anymore.

Wala pang isang minuto ay narinig ko ang pagpasok ni Leyton sa kwarto. Narining ko din ang papalapit nyang hakbang. I took all of my clothes and before he got to me, pumasok na ako ng banyo. I set the temperature as hot as I could handle. Parang masusunog ang balat ko sa unang dapo ng tubig sakin. But I eventually got used to it. I want something to hurt other than my heart. Gusto kong makalimot.

I felt him before I see him. He joined me in the shower, his body touching mine. Naramdam ko ang kamay nya sa balikat ko hanggang umabot ito sa beywang ko. I closed my eyes. I cried because even though I wanted to hate him, my body seemed to think otherwise. Niyakap niya ako mula sa likod. I felt him kiss the side of my head.

Kinuha nya ang shampoo at dahan-dahan na minasahe ang buhok ko. After that, he got the body wash and started rubbing my skin, massaging and kneading my body sensually . I closed my eyes when his hands traveled to my thighs.

I internally cursed as my body began betraying me. Sex is the last thing I want to do right now.

Napansin niya siguro ang bahagyang paninigas ng katawan ko dahil napatigil siya.

"Relax, baby. I wasn't trying to..." he sighed. "Just let me clean you, okay?"

I glared at him. "No, hindi okay. Just stop."

Tinapik ko ang kamay nya at dali daling nag banlaw. I left before he could say a word. I can feel the tension from his body, can feel his frustration. Tough luck. Wala ako sa mood para makipagmabutihan sa kanya.

I brushed my teeth, walked out of the bathroom, and grabbed my nightgown. Sinuot ko iyon at humiga, not caring about my wet hair.

My eyes are puffy but I know hindi pa ako tapos umiyak. I could cry for weeks and still feel the pain.

Five minutes later, lumabas si Leyton sa banyo. I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of looking back at him. Narining ko ang pagsuot niya ng boxers bago lumapit sa kama.

I turned on the other side, but being the man he is, he just wouldn't get ignored.

He started kissing the back of my neck, arms circling my body.

I turned my head and glared at him. "Sex can't solve everything, Ley. Hindi maiibsan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko."

Natigilan siya. "I wasn't trying to do anything. I just wanted to hug you."

"Then do it without your stupid lips," naka-angil na ganti ko.

Tinitigan niya ako, "What do you want me to say? I already said I'm sorry. I'm sorry we lost the baby. But I couldn't lose you, too, okay? I had to choose you. I will always choose you."

What on earth? Magpapanggap ba siyang hindi niya ako binintanga na nagplanong magpalaglag?

"I can't believe you. Did you forget that you accused me of aborting the baby?" I said incredulously.

He had the nerve to look ashamed. "I... I admit I was a fool. I shouldn't have... I realized how stupid and idiotic I was as soon as-"

"I don't care. Hindi ko kailangan ang sorry mo. The point is, wala kang tiwala sa akin," I exhaled, closing my eyes.