I Only Loved You Once Never Twice

(4) Letting Go

Note: It would be nice if you could play Letting Go later. (You'll know when to play it. Hehe)

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"So have you seen it? Did you watch?" You feel lethargic from crying until you fell asleep last night and now you have to deal with your workmate who won't just stop bugging you when it comes to their band.

"Yeah..."

"Really?!" She then proceeded to tell how she felt while watching the music video; how she felt the pain that was conveyed through the song; how she cried because the song was telling a story "And have you heard their other songs from the album?" You shook your head and she made you sit and gave you her phone. She plugged her earphones in your ears and clicked something on her phone before she left you in the dressing room.

You heaved a sigh of surrender as the song started playing. Oh, this one seems a lively song. You were moving your head trying to go with the song's rhythm as you were listening to the lyrics.

It's been a while since you left
But even when you weren't here
I always had you by my side
I put my hand in my pocket so you can always link your arms with mine
Why are you making me like this? (Why did you do that babe)

You arched your forehead as you realized that the message is still sad despite its lively vibe. You bit your lip as you started to feel your chest tighten again. And you thought your heart stopped when you heard him sing the next part

Every day is the same, I'm running around a wheel
I really hope this feeling changes
Not having what you want makes your heart hurt, I'm only human

You squeezed your eyes close as you try not to play a movie of your memories in your head again. I've had enough last night. Please.

I guess this is what they call a habit
In an empty room with no one inside
I'm waiting for you to return

But nothing really goes the way you wanted them to be. Not before, not now. Tears started to well up in your eyes. Never in your whole life that you've imagined yourself crying because of a song that doesn't even have a sentimental sound. But the lyrics!

My hand habits that touched you, my hand habits toward you
My mouth habits that called you, my mouth habits for you

You just want to slap yourself from crying again. Aren't you tired of crying every single time that you are reminded of him? It's been 5 months, hasn't it? But it still hurts the same. Why didn't it go the way you wanted it to be?

I'm calling out to you in the empty air
I'm beckoning to find you
You became my habit
Became my habit

And it's so hard, knowing that he's also a habit and habits are hard to give up.

Became my habit

You hurriedly wiped your tears when you heard the door open. And once again, you were attacked by numerous questions. Your workmate even teased you for crying in Habits. "You can relate to the song so much, don't you?"

As things started to change for them, things stayed the same for you. After another 5 months, you're still working at the coffee shop; stuck with your workmate who'd always talk about someone you don't even want to remember. When your working schedule changes, those are the times that you were thankful for. At least your ears would be able to rest from hearing anything about him. But unfortunately, your new shift is being with the said workmate again. You really have nothing against her. It's just that, you just don't want to add salt to your wound.

It's been 10 months since the breakup but you're still hurting. Even if you want to convince yourself that you're already numb from feeling the pain and regret, you're still hurting.