I Only Loved You Once Never Twice

(5) Home

"Success is the best revenge. Because they see you climbing up the ranks and they're like 'Oh, I messed up'" You clenched your jaw as you were listening to that familiar voice on the radio when your workmate suddenly turned it off.

Things between the both of you changed since you opened up to her. She even helped you hide when you saw Brian approaching the coffee shop few months ago. Just how she used to talk about them always, she's now helping you ease the pain by making you go back to your senses when you're starting to be drifted away by the stream of feels you're having. And one of those is turning off the radio when Jae made you think their success right now is kind of a revenge for you.

Other times she'd grab your phone away from you when she catches you reading some theories and opinions from fans. A lot is blaming you, hate you for hurting Brian. Others thank you because whatever happened, it's thanks to you that Brian gets to write these beautiful songs; even if they're mostly painful. But the thing is, they don't actually know that the "ex-girlfriend" that they always talk about exists. Some even talk about how you might be regretting right now for leaving him.

You all don't know what happened. You all don't know the reason why we broke up. I never wanted to break up! You felt a pat on your shoulder which made you look up.

"You're thinking about what the fans are talking about again, aren't you?"

With another comeback, not to mention that this one's not like any other, more theories and opinions raised up. The year has just started and they came back with a project which is to release two songs every month for the whole year.

And for the first title track that they released few days ago, another breakup topic raised. Talking about how confused the band was. Saying congratulations to an ex for leaving, saying they'll finally let go and now they found themselves still waiting in the same place, waiting for the girl to hold their hand but then still wanting to let go despite all of the memories are frozen in them. But of course, most of these questions and topics refer to Brian.

Regret, huh? Of course you regret not being by his side. But knowing they're having a project like this made you think that what you did is right. If they were busy before, they're much busier right now. You can't help but think and be worried if he can still manage to balance his time and if he can still study for exams or does he stay up night before them.

But that belief of being able to accept your situation right now dimmed seeing Ayeon sitting next to Brian. He smiles a lot. And his eyes seem to be soft. Unlike when he was singing Congratulations and Letting Go. His smile doesn't wear off his face when talking to her. But he's just like that to everyone.

You wanted to smack yourself because you kept on quarrelling with your mind—like you want to justify every action he does; like you want to convince yourself there's nothing to be jealous of. And you wanted to at least murmur your thanks because he talks more to the radio host than to the girl beside him. But suddenly, you wanted to whack your laptop's monitor when they whispered to each other. So close!

You bit your lip when they're about to sing together. She really has a nice voice and she's really pretty. You were somehow fine at first but when he faced her while she was singing, you wanted to make a portal on the screen and stand between them. He even bit his lower lip! What the hell?!

The song was about the 'shouldn't have's' of a guy to a girl; the misleading actions and keeping the hopes up. Typical Brian. Then it made you wonder if Ayeon was thinking about Brian while singing this. Are they on this page?

Stop closing your eyes while she's singing for Pete's sake!

(a/n: listen to You Were Beautiful)