I hate myself for loving you (zarry)

Chapter 1

* Thank you my dear friend Nimisha GypsyHeartGypsySoul for editing this story!!! Love ya babe 😘❤️

"Zayn Malik, why didn't you came to the restaurant?"


"I already told you on the phone that Harry is ill!"


"It's our anniversary! You didn't come to our one year anniversary just because he got a small cold?"


"He is my best friend!"


"And I'm your girlfriend!!"


Harry cringed at the yelling coming from the living room of Zayn and his apartment. He is in his bedroom, sitting on the corner of the bed, his body covered with the sheet. He is silently crying in his arms.


He didn't mean to catch a cold today, he can't control the weather, and it changes so fast that he gets ill easily. He didn't mean for Zayn to find out that he is ill this morning while they were having breakfast. Every time Harry feels uncomfortable, Zayn is the first to find out, and he finds it out so quickly. He doesn't know why, maybe Zayn has some super power when it comes to him. And mostly, Harry didn't mean for Zayn to cancel his anniversary plans with his girlfriend Perrie. He didn't mean to make them argue at their special day. He knows that Zayn loves her and she is a lovely person. Even though Harry is in love with Zayn, and every time the lovers get affectionate in front of him, he gets a deep pain in his heart. Zayn doesn't know it and he doesn't need know this secret of Harry.


Yes, Harry had a crush on Zayn ever since the day they first met at the school corridor, his freshman year. Now they are in the same college and living in the same apartment. Harry is in love with Zayn and couldn't get over him even though he dated a few guys in the past. He has had boyfriends but his relationships always end so quickly.

Harry already has someone in his heart since the very first time he saw him. That someone owns his heart and won't give it back.


He still remembers the day they first met...


Harry went through the school hallway to his next class, a few books held close to his chest. A group of boys stood in front of him blocking the way.

"Are you the gay freshman?" The red headed boy, who was the leader of the group crossed his arms and asked.


Harry looked up at the boy's blue eyes with fear. He had come out as gay on the very first day of school. He was proud of who he was and never hid his sexuality. But the boy in front of him was intimidating.


"Yes, it must be him! Look at his feminine appearance. He is the queer!" The boy behind the red head exclaimed and the rest of the boys burst into laughter.


Harry's face was red from the humiliation. He turned around to run away but a boy grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.


"You queer, how dare you run away from us? You disgusting faggot!" The boy who grabbed him spat.


And a blonde haired boy snatched his books and threw them on the floor.


"No!" Tears formed in Harry's eyes seeing the boy stomp on his books. The rest of boys snickered and kicked his books away.


"We can do whatever we want. You don't have the right to protest, you bitch!" The boy grabbed him with a sneer and pushed him.


Harry fell on the floor, wincing at the pain on his back from the fall.


"Hey, what are you doing? Leave him alone!" Someone yelled from behind Harry. He turned his head to see a boy with black hair and hazel eyes walking towards them. The boy was so beautiful, Harry couldn't take his eyes off him.


He became Harry's knight the day he threatened to beat the shit out of the boys if they near harry. So that's why harry never got bullied again.


And he became Harry's best friend the day he helped Harry get back on his feet, picked up his books and accompanied him to class.

He took Harry in his group and made his friends befriend Harry. Harry came to know from his friends that Zayn was one of the popular kids at school. He was the captain of the football team and his girlfriend was a cheerleader.


Since then Harry knew he wouldn't have a chance with Zayn because Zayn was straight.


Since then Zayn started protecting Harry and taking care of him.


Since then Zayn took Harry's heart away and didn't return it.


"You canceled our anniversary plans just because of your twink best friend, who can't even take care of himself? He is not a baby anymore! He is 21 years old and couldn't handle a little flu? How weak is he? Why doesn't he go find a boyfriend for himself, and stop stealing my boyfriend?" Perrie yells, making Harry cringe under the bed sheet even more.


"Stop talking shit about him! He is my best friend!" Zayn yells back.


"Or what? Are you gonna dump me because of that twink?" She snorta.


"Yes! We're over, get out of my house now!"


"W-What?"


"You heard me. Get out!"


"You dick!!"


Harry hears a slap and the door slam. He slowly opens his bedroom door and walks out. He sees Zayn sitting on the couch with hands on his head. There are red fingers prints on his left cheek.


He stands in front of Zayn with guilt in his eyes. "I'm sorry." He murmurs.

Zayn looks up at him with a slight smile on his face. "It's not your fault, Haz."


"It is." Harry looks at his feet in shame. It is his fault, he ruined Zayn's relationship. He hates seeing Zayn upset.


"No." Zayn rubs Harry's arms. "It's not your fault, babe. Now come here and cuddle with me, won't you?" Zayn whispers and kisses Harry's hand.


Harry nods and cuddles with Zayn on the couch.

-

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