I hate myself for loving you (zarry)

Chapter 5

Harry and Zayn are currently eating dinner at home. Harry notices Zayn fidgeting after he checked his phone. Zayn puts his phone on the table, and starts eating his dinner.


The phone screen flashes non-stop. Harry knows who is sending all those texts to Zayn.


He had heard Zayn talk on the phone earlier in the living room when he was preparing dinner.


"No Gigi, I can't go out tonight. I have to stay home with Harry."


Harry was putting some vegetables into the soup when he heard Zayn talk on the phone. It's not like Harry wanted to eavesdrop, but Zayn was talking loud.


"Stop being so clingy, okay? Just because we had sex doesn't mean you're my girlfriend now!"


Harry cringed at Zayn's harsh words, he could picture Zayn roll his eyes. Zayn's words hurt Harry but he couldn't take it personally, could he? Zayn was talking to someone else, not him, after all.


Harry can easily see the distraction on Zayn's face across the table.


He can't stand it anymore. He can't bear to let Zayn stress himself out, and think he can't go anywhere freely anytime he wants just because Harry's pregnant with his child. He clears his throat to get Zayn's attention, "You know, you can go out if you want to."


Zayn looks at Harry and furrows his eyebrows, "I don't want to go out."


Liar! Harry rolls his eyes.


He puts his fork down, and reaches for his glass of water. He puts the glass back on the table, after he drinks water with elegance and wipes his mouth with a napkin. Then he looks at Zayn.


"Okay, we need to talk, Zayn." Harry says when Zayn looks at him, confused. "It's okay to go out and have fun, Zayn. It's not like I'm 9 months pregnant and I need you to stay with me every minute of the day. I have barely reached the first trimester, I can still handle everything by myself. And it's not like we're in a relationship, we're just best friends. You can go out and have fun with whoever you want and do whenever you want. You can go on a date with anyone in the world. You're free to do anything, and so am I. Is that clear?"


Zayn sighs in relief. "God, yes! You are so understanding. I'm so glad to have you as my best friend and the mother of my child."


Mother? Harry is blushing now. He thinks he likes it. He loves being the mother.


He doesn't notice Zayn get up from his seat, stand beside him and smack his lips on Harry's cheek, leaving some saliva on his face; until he feels the wetness on his cheek.


"Eww!" Harry pretends to be disgusted and grabs Zayn's sleeve to wipe it away.


Zayn laughs and ruffles Harry's hair. "Okay, I'm leaving now. Call me if you need anything."


Harry nods and within seconds, he hears the front door shut, signaling that Zayn is out.


The room becomes silent, and loneliness immediately invades the whole apartment.


"It's just you and me now, baby." Harry gently puts his hand on his tummy. "Your daddy has gone out to have some fun, but that's okay, your mummy is here for you. Though I kinda miss him now." Harry pouts, trying not to think about Zayn having too much fun with that Gigi girl. And then he giggles, "Do you want to hear about something silly your daddy did when we were in high school, baby? But you have to promise that you won't tell your daddy..."


-


It's Thursday, the day of their second appointment with Dr. Sam.

They go to the hospital early. They don't know what to expect from their appointment today since they're both new to this kind of stuff.


"Oh, you came here early, Harry." Dr. Sam says when she sees Harry and Zayn sitting in the waiting room.


"Y-yes. I hope it doesn't bother you." Harry awkwardly smiles at her.


"It's no bother at all. Come in." Dr. Sam smiles and opens her office door. "Are you ready to see your baby?"


"Yes!" Zayn and Harry say in unison, excitement in their voice.


Dr. Sam raises her brow at them and then looks at Zayn with curiosity. "So, you're the father?"


"Yes." Zayn nods in confirmation.


"But you said you were just best friends?" She cocks her head to the side, and shifts her gaze from Zayn to Harry.


"Well, yes, we're best friends. It's complicated." Harry shrugs.


"Okay. Get on the bed over there. Lay down with your t-shirt lifted up a bit to show your stomach." She smiles warmly at Harry, gesturing him to the bed beside a machine.


Harry lies down and does as he was told. Zayn stands beside the bed.


"Please hold on, it'll be a bit cold." Dr. Sam says, gesturing to a bottle of ultrasound gel on her hand.


She rubs the gel on Harry's belly and places a small wand onto it. She moves the wand, and points at the screen beside them. "That's your baby."

Harry sees a little pea shape on the screen. Though it's not very distinguishable on the black and white screen, Harry still has tears on his eyes. "Oh, that's my baby. That's our baby, Zayn." Harry lets out a sob, he can't take his eyes off the screen.


Zayn holds Harry's hand and rubs his thumb at the back of his palm in a reassuring way. "Yes Haz, our beautiful baby." His voice is gentle, Harry calms down a bit.


"Ready to hear the baby's heart beat?" Dr. Sam smiles fondly at them.


Harry nods.


They hear little thumps on the background. "That's your baby's heartbeat, and judging by the heartbeat, I can assure you that it's a healthy baby." Dr. Sam says.


Harry feels Zayn's hand holding his tightly. He looks up to see that Zayn has tears running down his cheeks.


He is surprised, he has rarely seen Zayn cry. Zayn likes to be a tough guy for all he knows.


Harry smiles at Zayn, he finds it extremely adorable.


When Zayn feels Harry's stare on him, he immediately turns away and wipes his tears.


"C-Can I have a record of the heart beat?" Zayn pretends to be cool while asking Sam shyly.


And Harry still has a dorky smile on his face.


"Yes, you can." Sam smiles and turns off the machine. "And how many pictures do you want of the baby?"


"Five." Harry grins.

-

That night, after coming back from the hospital, they cuddle on the couch to watch TV and relax.


"No, Zayn I want to watch Twilight." Harry whines, trying to snatch the remote from Zayn's hand.


"No, I don't want to watch that dumb movie again. Why would a vampire want a weak human school girl, when he could basically get whoever he wants in the world with the power he has? It's so cheesy." Zayn holds up the remote out of Harry's reach.


Harry rolls his eyes, "It's called true love, you dumbass."


"Whatever, I'll never watch it again. We watched it about hundreds times because of you. So this time, no, I won't give in. Plus, it's the football league finals. I need to watch it." Zayn says while shifting his eyes back to the TV, "The game is about to start."


"Okay, fine." Harry huffs, watching the ball roll back and forth between the players around the pitch. Harry doesn't get what's going on. He can never understand a football match.


A while later, a brilliant idea hits him.


A devilish smile creeps upon his face.


"Zaynie" Harry says innocently and pouts, giving Zayn the most innocent, pleading big eyes. "I want to eat chocolate smoothie from Starbucks."


"What? It's like two streets away from here!"


"Please, Zaynie." Harry grabs Zayn's hand and puts it on his tummy. "Your baby is craving it."


Zayn's expression turns soft when he touches Harry's stomach which is carrying his child. He sighs, "Okay, I'll go and get it for you."


"Yes! You are the best daddy ever!" Harry exclaims, and hugs Zayn.


"I know I am." Zayn chuckles.


When Zayn gets out of the front door, Harry immediately changes the channel and puts on the channel showing "Twilight".


He grins and puts a popcorn in his mouth. "And, I'm the smartest mummy ever."

-

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