I hate myself for loving you (zarry)

Chapter 4

Feeling extremely tired after a long day of classes, Harry opens the door to their apartment. The smell of food hits him the moment he enters. Looks like Zayn has already prepared dinner for them. Zayn just had one class today, unlike Harry, who had full day of classes. He got tired just by thinking of it.


He drops his bag on the couch and walks to the kitchen.


"Harry, come sit down. Dinner is ready." Zayn smiles, setting the table.


"Oh, you made chicken spaghetti!" Harry gasps, mouth already watering. "I was craving it for like a whole damn day!"


"I know you'd love it." Zayn winks and sits down facing Harry, across the table.

-

After finishing dinner, Harry gets up and starts cleaning the table. Suddenly a feeling of nausea hits him. He puts the plates in the sink and rushes to the bathroom.


He throws up everything he has eaten today. Eww! He himself feels disgusted.


"Haz, you alright?" Zayn asks, patting his back, voice laced with concern.


Harry nods his head when he feels better and gets up with Zayn's help.


He washed his mouth and looks at Zayn via the mirror above the wash basin. "I'm okay Zaynie. It's probably something I ate earlier."


Zayn frowns, "You have been like this for three days now. You need to see a doctor."


Oh, he has hated hospitals his whole damn life and Zayn knows it!


Harry quickly turns around, and glares at Zayn like an angry little kitten he is, stomping his feet. "No! I don't want to go to the hospital. I told you it's just something I ate. It's not a big deal!"


"Harry, don't act like a child! And, don't give me that pouting look, it's not working. You are going to the hospital and that's the final!" Zayn scolds, crossed his arms and giving Harry a stern look.


Harry lets out a sob, tears running down his face, "Y-You y-yelled at m-me." He starts crying.


Zayn eyes widen in shock. Harry has never cried because of something like this before. "I-I'm sorry, Haz." He gently wipes away Harry's tears and pulls him to his chest, hugging him. "Shh, please don't cry, babe."


He kisses Harry's forehead and says, "But you have to go to the hospital tomorrow, yeah baby? You don't have to be worried. I'll go with you, okay Haz?"


Harry nods, his tears dampening Zayn's shirt. He slowly calms down from his emotional mood.

-

The next day, Harry is dragged to the hospital by Zayn.


Now, they are sitting in front of Dr. Sam's desk, after running all the tests.


"Okay" Sam looks through the test result and then looks up at Harry, "you know you can carry, right Mr.styles?"


Harry nods, furrowing his eyebrows. Oh no, it better not be what he thinks it is.


"When was the last time you had a sexual intercourse?" She asked while writing something on the paper.

"T-three m-months ago." That's when Harry remembers that he forgot to take 'acyeterion' when he went home from Niall's party that day.


He was too busy thinking about what happened with Zayn, and also he was so distracted from the upcoming tests that he totally forgot about the pills. Harry feels his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. No, no, no, no, no...


"Yes, the test was right. You are pregnant." Dr. Sam smiles at the two boys sitting across her desk. "Congratulations to you guys. And I assure you sex is allowed during pregnancy." She winks at them. The two best friends instantly blush.


"Oh, umm w-we are just best friends." Harry stutters. He's also my baby's daddy though. But he doesn't say it.


Zayn wants to say something but Dr. Sam beats him to it, "Oh, sorry. You guys look like a cute couple."


"It's okay, you didn't know." Harry chuckles awkwardly.


"Anyway, do you have any questions about the baby and pregnancy?" Dr. Sam asks.


"No." Harry just wants to go home and stay alone. There are too many thoughts rushing in his mind right now.


"Okay, you next appointment is on Thursday."

-

They get in, but Zayn doesn't start the car. Harry is too deep in his own thoughts to notice it.


He is going to be a parent. He has always loved children. He wanted a baby with the love of his life after they get married and settled down, but not like this with his best friend. Okay, who's he kidding? Zayn is the love of his life. But how can he explain this to Zayn? That Zayn is the father of his baby when Zayn probably doesn't even remember anything about that night?

"I'm the father right?" Zayn asks out of nowhere, catching Harry off guard.


"W-What?" Harry snaps out of his thoughts, and whips his head around to face Zayn, looking at him with wide eyes.


"I remember what happened at Niall's party." Zayn awkwardly scratches his head, "W-well, when I woke up, you weren't there. So I thought you might not had wanted to talk about it and I didn't want it to make our friendship awkward, you know. I mean, come on! It was just a one night stand!" Harry feels slightly hurt when he hears that. It was a one night stand, but it means so much to Harry.


"So I played along with you, pretending it never happened. But something did happen." He gestures to Harry's stomach, making Harry put his hand on it involuntarily.


"What now? What about the baby? What are you going to do with it?" Zayn asks.


"I-" Harry shifts his gaze away from Zayn and looks down, he doesn't dare to look at Zayn's eyes. "I'm keeping this baby."


He hastily continues speaking before Zayn could say anything, "I-I know that you probably don't want a baby at a young age, and you probably don't want to be burdened by any of this. It's okay, I get it. I totally understand. But I want to keep this baby. I can raise the baby by myself, you don't have to be worried."


"Who said I don't want this baby?"


Harry looks up at Zayn, surprised.


"I know we're not some couple who are in love or some shit like that, but we're best friends. We've been best friends for years now. We can make it through this just like other shits we have been through all these years. We'll work things out. We'll be the best parents for this baby, I promise." Zayn looks at Harry with sincerity in his eyes.


Harry nods. He is stunned by Zayn's genuine words. Zayn's right, they'll work things out together.


"C-Can I touch it?" Zayn shyly asks, referring to Harry's stomach.


"Yes." Harry giggles, grabbing Zayn's hand and putting it on his tummy.


"Fuck, my baby is in here." Zayn awes.


"No cussing in front of the baby!" Harry pouts.


"Oh, I'm sorry, babe." Zayn rubs Harry's stomach gently, "I'll never cuss in front our baby again."


Harry smiles with satisfaction, feeling comfortable with Zayn rubbing his tummy.

-

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