It's a strange feeling, loving someone.
It starts out small then gracefully grows into something so power you'd never think could ever be possible. Then it's like a heartache because it's then that you realize you'd do anything for the person.
Even...
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Cartel.
I know what you're thinking. The word 'cartel' conjures images of drugs, guns, and danger, but for me, being with Guero was the first time I truly felt connected to someone. Our first Christmas together, Guero took me to meet his godfather, Don Epifanio, the head of the cartel.
We walked into the mansion, party lights casting a kaleidoscope of colors overhead. Balloons clung to the staircase, and people were everywhere, filling every corner. As Guero led me deeper into the celebration, my shoulder brushed against someone. I turned with a polite smile, "Perdóname."
The man turned, his stature short and stocky, his mustache overshadowing his lips. His stern gaze met mine. "Don Epifanio and Batman are asking for you, Guero." Another voice, equally short and stocky, chimed in. Guero nodded at them, then turned to me as they walked off.
"I'll just be a minute. Don't get lost out here," he said, his voice a mix of warning and warmth. I gave him a small, half-hearted smile, watching him disappear into the crowd. Here, in this grand, bustling party, I felt small, out of place. Big gatherings like this terrified me. After all, when you're with a drug runner, entering the home of a cartel leader, you always wonder if the wrong person might walk in and start shooting.
"Hiya, Mami! You look so pretty." Brenda, Guero's cousin and Chino's wife, greeted me with a hug that was more of a tackle. I liked Brenda, I really did, but sometimes she was just too much for me to handle. Teresa, on the other hand, had embraced Brenda as her new best friend. "Come, help me find the bathroom," Brenda insisted, dragging me down a hallway.
I was uneasy about wandering through their home. What if we accidentally walked into something we shouldn't see? We could end up dead. "Oh, my god, Elena. Look how big this place is. I want to live here," Brenda's voice pitched higher than usual—she was definitely high, her personal trademark before any outing.
"Oh, look at those shoes!" she squealed, darting into a room.
"Brenda, no," I whispered, glancing back to ensure we were alone. I hurried after her into the room, curious yet cautious.
"If there's a size 6, I'm snagging it," she declared, her eyes sparkling with a hint of rebellion.
"No way, Brenda, we shouldn't even be back here," I protested, but my words were half-hearted.
"Oh, come on. Rich folks get off on the idea of us riffling through their stuff. Look at this," Brenda said, her voice a mix of awe and mischief. She turned around, holding up a delicate diamond necklace. "This would totally rock on you."
I couldn't help but smirk as she draped the necklace around my neck. "You're not wrong," I admitted, catching my reflection in the grand mirror. The necklace was more than beautiful; it was a glimpse into a life I craved.
Brenda mumbled something about needing to pee, but I was lost in my own fantasy. I pictured Guero and me in a mansion like this, his hands warm against my skin as he fastened the necklace. I imagined the frivolous, unnecessary gifts he'd shower me with. I wanted that life, and deep down, I knew Guero was my ticket to it.
Reality snapped back when I heard raised voices down the hall. Not just talking, but a full-blown argument. I glanced at the bathroom door where Brenda was still occupied, then gently placed the necklace back on the dresser before tiptoeing towards the commotion.
"It's my business too!" a woman's voice cut through the air, sharp with anger. This was no Christmas cheer. As I peeked around the corner, I saw Epifanio and Camila, his wife, in a heated exchange. I knew I shouldn't be eavesdropping; this kind of thing could get you more than just a stern talking-to.
I caught a glimpse through the slightly ajar door. Camila was yanking off her wedding ring, thrusting it at Epifanio. She muttered something, then spun around, her heels clicking with purpose. Oh crap, she was heading my way.
"Think, Elena, think," I whispered to myself, my heart racing.
"Uh, excuse me, do you know where the—" Camila was already brushing past me before I could finish asking about the bathroom. Then, a firm hand on my lower back made me turn. It was Epifanio.
"It's alright, it's not your fault. Let's blame her. You good with that?" he said, his smile trying to inject some humor into the tense situation. I had to hand it to him for the effort.
"Epifanio," he introduced himself, extending his hand. I returned a small smile.
"Elena, but I know who you are. Guero's godfather, right?"
His grin widened, like a lightbulb had just gone off. "Ah, yes, Elena! Guero's been singing your praises."
"I sure hope so," I chuckled, and we both laughed. Epifanio then guided me back to the dining hall with his hand on my lower back, chatting and cracking a few jokes along the way. Despite my nerves about saying the wrong thing, the night was turning out okay.
But little did I know, my life was on the brink of a change, and it wasn't going to be for the better.
