How to Train Your Dragon: Still Hurts

All My Fault

The guilt in him built and built, almost reaching a point where it was unbearable. Everything that has happened, it was all him. He tried to avoid it for so long, for he didn't want to take the blame.

But the dreams. He knew there were telling him the trust. Now he accepts it and it hurts unlike any other. But he can't tell anyone. Not when there is a festival at the moment. 

The Snoggletog festival was in full swing around Berk. There was laughter and cheering throughout the day, along with dragons roaring. The big festival dinner took over the Great Hall, where the laughter continued. But despite the cheerfulness filling the air, the guilt was still in Hiccup.

It felt like a blockage in his throat, building up every moment. All he wanted to do was scream, to scream at the top of his lungs. But he couldn't. He closed his eyes, shutting himself from his surroundings. He tried to control himself. He didn't want anyone to know. But it's just.... it's too much. It's.... it's.....

"Hey, Hiccup?" Hiccup opened his eyes. He turned to his left and saw his mother, Valka sitting next to him, placing her hand gently on his shoulders.

"Oh, hi Mum." Hiccup replied, still looking a bit stunned. 

"Are you alright? It looked like you are...crying." she said worryingly. Hiccup himself noticed a tear on his face.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." he said, while wiping the water from his eyes. "It's just....you know, the festival and all. It took a long time to sort this out."

Valka chuckled. "Indeed, Hiccup. I am so proud of what you have done. And... and I know your father would be just as proud."

"Yeah." Hiccup felt like he got punched, but the kind of punch where he couldn't scream. He couldn't let out the pain that was so unbearable. 

"Hiccup, what have you done?"

"Why didn't you listen to me?"

"If you had listen to me, I would still be alive!!"

"Everyone, may I have your attention?" The voice of his mother brought him back to reality, but he knew deep down it won't last so long.

"I think I speak for everyone when I say that tonight has been a wonderful night thus far." Cheers echoed through the Great Hall in agreement. Valka turned to Hiccup. "Hiccup, do you have any words?" Hiccup silently nodded as he stood up, facing the entire population of Berk. 

He could feel his hands shaking, almost causing his entire body to shake with it. He took a deep breath. "Well, umm... I am glad that tonight's Snoggletog is a success. It took quite a lot of planning, but I couldn't have done it without Toothless, Astrid, my mother and of course...."

He went silent, without any warning, staring blankly at the distance. 

"Hiccup?" Valka said with concern. "Are you alright?" It was clear to Valka and everyone else that something wasn't right. His face was the look of terror, as if... he had saw a ghost. Hiccup began to walk back, causing everyone to get up immediately. Astrid was the first one, grabbing hold of his arm. 

"Hiccup? Can you hear me? What's wrong?" she asked worryingly. But that didn't stop him. He was still walking with the same expression, no other movement, like a statue that has come to life. At this point, everyone was calling out to him, as loud as they could, but nothing changed. He was still staring at the end of the hall, seeing images straight out from his dreams, his nightmares, his reality. 

"No...no...no! Stop!" he shouted, which startled everyone. "Please, stop! I know now! I know, OK?! It was all me! All me! Leave me alone! STOP!!" Suddenly, he fell, as he tripped over Toothless' tail, almost knocking him out. 

"Why didn't you listen to me?"

"I'm sorry, Dad. It was all my fault." he tearfully whispered before everything around him went dark.