How to Train Your Dragon: Still Hurts

Not Alone

It wasn't your fault. You know it's not. You did what you believed in. And I did what I had to do to protect you. Don't blame yourself. Please. Son.

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Hiccup opens his eyes, away from the darkness he has been in for who knows how long. His eyes adjusts to the sudden brightness, when he realises he was looking at a ceiling. His ceiling at his house. He was back home.

"Why.... am I here..?" he thought as he slowly sat up from the bed he was lying. he could feel a large pain in the back of his head. All of a sudden, he feels something slimly on the side of his face. He turned to see Toothless, licking his face.

Hiccup chuckled "Hey, bud." he said as he strokes the top of his face. But he notices that his dragon's face was not of happiness, but of worry. 

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked worryingly.

"Hiccup!" Hiccup quickly faces forward to see Valka standing at the entrance of his room.

"Mum? What's going....?" But before he could finish his sentence, Valka rushes over to him, pulling him in for a hug.

"Thank Thor you're alright. Everyone was so worried about you." she said, trying to not burst into tears.

"Worried? Why?" Hiccup asked in confusion. Valka releases him from the hug and sits on the side of his bed. 

"I can't really explain what happened, but you were frozen. Then, you started screaming and shouting before falling onto the ground." she explained.

"Well, that explains the pain I'm feeling in my head." he said, placing a hand on the back on his head and rubbing it.

"Hiccup? What's going on?" Valka asked with much concern, placing her hand on his other hand. 

"Wha...What do you mean?"

"Astrid told me that you haven't been getting much sleep. You shouting and crying in desire. And...."

"And what?" Hiccup asked, still confused.

"I heard you mention your father." Hiccup went silent. His eyes grew, staring at his mum, almost filling up with tears. His entire body becomes tense. Then, he looks away from her, looking down. 

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." he finally says after being silent for a while.

"That's the problem, Hiccup. The entire village is worried about you. So I know it's not nothing. You have to tell me."

"You don't need to know. It's fine." Hiccup tries to fight his tears, but they become too obvious, causing Toothless to make a concerned growl. 

"Hiccup, please!"

"Why do you need to know?! Why now?! You didn't care before! You weren't here for the past 20 years, so why now?!" Now he wasn't hiding his tears, that were streaming down his face. His expression filled with desire, anger and frustration. He turns away, breathing heavily as he tries to calm down, but the memories of the 'dream' crawls back in his head. He places his hands on his face, trying hard not to burst crying.

Then, he felt his mum's hand on his face, who slowly turns his face toward her. Seeing his face, drench in tears made her heart break.

"Hiccup, I know I wasn't in your life. I know that and I'm sorry. But I'm here now and I want to help you, but you have to tell me, son. You have to tell me, please."

And at that point, it was all too much for Hiccup. He crashes into Valka's arms, holding her tightly as he bawls his eyes. All that Valka could do was stroke his head gently as he finally releases the emotions he has supress for a long time.

"I miss Dad so much!" Hiccup proclaims through his tears. "If only I had listen to him, he would still be here! Still here with me."

"No, Hiccup. It's not your fault. Your father would never think it was your fault." Valka assured him.

"I guess, but..." Hiccup releases his grip on Valka before speaking again. "I just wish things were different. It's just so hard."

Valka wipes some of his tears before cupping her hands on his face. "I know being Chief is not easy, buy you need to remember that you are not alone. You've got everyone here on Berk behind your back." A proud growl was heard behind them, courtesy of Toothless. 

Hiccup chuckled. "You too, bud." He scratches Toothless' head, which causes him to make a small purring sound. 

"And...." Valka continued, causing Hiccup to face her again. "You will always have me, if you will let me." And for the first time, Hiccup gives a smile that felt genuine before hugging his mum again. 

"Of course, mum." Hiccup whispered in her ear, causing her to smile and hold her son tightly.

"I love you, mum."

"I love you too, son."