Riley's Art Book/Journal

Gender crisis

So my mom tells me that she knows I'm not a boy, but if I'm genderfluid, she'll support me.

But, like-

I seriously always feel like a boy-

But I also feel like a girl-

But I also don't feel genderfluid or nonbinary as I normally classify myself as.

My mother says that labels are stupid and that we're all human, and that's what matters

But I feel like to actually know someone, I also need to know myself

But how do I know myself if I don't even know who I am?

I always bind when I go to school, and I always wear baggy clothes so I look boyish

But everyone asks me (most of the time it's seventh graders joking around because they're all immature af) what my pronouns are. Like, I seem like I don't really care and I just shrug it off and say in a joking matter, "Bob the builder" or something stupid, but I actually have a gender crisis when I get asked. Because I don't know who I am. I don't know if I want to be Allysin, Alec, Al, Amaya, Bailey, Riley, or any names I have given myself or been called.

I just feel lost right now.