The POETRY CLUB

The Heartbreaker

A collaboration with JanaJoubert. Her parts are in italic.

Maybe I was wrong to do it,
Maybe it was cold to think about you that way,
But I did.
And as we speak,
I'm regretting it.

Too late I reach, my heart's broken,
Can't think of how you betrayed me,
I keep writing to forget.
Lost in my own world,
I used to fantasize about you.

You hate me,
And I won't say it,
But I know why.
It's because you opened up,
And I broke you down.

Left my guard down,
You caught me off guard.
Broke my walls-
I trusted you,
You failed me.

I tried so hard to forget about you.
Tried so hard to forget your brown eyes,
Forget the way my heart used to speed up when I heard your name.
I didn't mean those words...
Or did I?
Caught between the me I want to be,
And the man I am,
I lost you

I fought hard for your love,
A lost battle I mend, your love was fake.
Just the mention of your name got my heart in a mess,
Not anymore.
Too much pain I had to bear, you lost me in a mist of darkness,
You can't reach me, I'm far gone.

But, who says it was?
Did we really mean that little?
When we talk nowadays,
I can feel how cold you are towards me.
I broke many a heart,
But you?
I broke my own heart when it came to you.

Was I just one of your girls?
You toyed me around, playing, stomping on my heart.
You knew I had something for you,
Left clues, left hints
Ignored by you, I turned cold.
I forced you out of my heart.

Don't you see, love?
There was so much left unsaid.
I turned you away like my other girls,
Because, I couldn't stand to get hurt again.
But, I loved you.
I loved that you tried so hard for me.
That you loved me too.
I knew so well that I would get broken,
If I carried on.

Forgetting, moving on.
I'm doing fine without you caring-
But you seem troubled about me ignoring you.
Does it bother you that I no longer feel for you?
That I've been able to move on.
You weren't the first man in my life,
Though I wished you were the last,
Too bad you won't be.

You're right...
Maybe it is better if I let go too.
So I throw myself in more women.
I throw myself into all my past activities,
In the hope that maybe,
Just maybe,
It would fill this damn hole.
But it doesn't.
Why isn't it?

I thought I was dead inside,
I thought about you for days, weeks, months.
They were all in vain
For you dismissed my love.
Turning my love into hatred, you thought I was just playing around.
But my hatred for you turned stronger
You faded from my mind

I'm starting to realize something, my love.
It faded away a long time ago,
But I know now,
This is the truth.
Time is slipping from my fingers,
And so is a future with you.

No longer do I dream of you,
You're not the one I fantasize about anymore.
You weren't the man I could call mine,
I now know it.
I moved on but have you ?