That Depressed Girl

Chapter 22

As I sat waiting for my mom to arrive, I thought of all of the things that could happen today. I don't know what to do, or if I should, or could ever forgive her.

I hope one day I can, I feel like after everything I've been through, I deserve a happy ending. And I already have a part of it; Adrian.

My phone buzzed and I kicked it up and saw j had a text from my boss -

'Hey! I hope you're doing well, let me know when you can come back to work!'

I smiled and texted her back saying I can start back tomorrow.

A few moments later my mom walked through the door and gave a sly smile to me. I returned the favor and she sat down.

"Have you ordered your ice cream yet?" She asked.

"No, I was waiting for you." I stated.

"Okay, I'll go order, what do you want?" She asked.

"You don't-"

"I want to. Please. I owe the world to you, and if I could give it to you I would." She said.

"Cookie dough please." I replied and she nodded, leaving to go to the counter to buy the ice cream.

A few minutes later she returned with our ice cream.

"I love cookies n cream." I said smiling at her, trying to make conversation even though I knew what I really needed to know.

"Me too, we used to get it all of the time." She said.

I couldn't help but frown a little, those were the best days, before my dad went all abusive. I don't know why he did, it just happened one day.

"Thank you for meeting me." She said.

"I needed to. Even if I didn't want to listen, i have to. I need to know." I replied

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"Everything. From the day I was born up until now." I replied.

"Okay, when you were born, your father and I, we were very happy. Everything was perfect, you were healthy and we were able to take you have very soon after. When you were about two your dad was fired from his job and we had to move houses to save money. Then I had to get a job until he could find a new one. I guess that's kinda when things went downhill." She fake laughed. Remembering all of those bad times.
"I just, I don't want you to think it was your fault, because it wasn't." She said.

"Then why'd he take it out on me?" I asked.

"I guess you were the only one he had to take it out on." She sighed, regretfully.

I nodded looking down.

"When I came home from work every day, he was drunk, or high. I always had to pick you up from daycare, and I even had to put you in daycare because he wouldn't watch you. So I had to pick up a few extra shifts every few weeks so I could afford it. He started um forcing me to....pleasure him at night. Even when I was very tired from work." She said sadly.

"Eventually when you got older and I started working later he began to hit you too. And me as well. I never thought he would hurt you, sexually but he did. And I am so so sorry. You don't deserve that. You don't deserve any of this."

"I just don't understand why, when you left you could've taken me with you. Why didn't you?" I said. Wanting to cry.

"I wanted to, but he got home from the bar early, the cab was waiting outside, I wouldn't have gotten away if I went back inside for you. I am so so sorry."

"Why didn't you ever come back?"

"I was ashamed. I was scared. I thought I'd never be able to leave again, and I was scared that you didn't want to be with me. And I didn't know if he had changed or not. I thought he stopped hitting you. And abusing you. I guess I was wrong....." she tailed off.

"I just don't understand. I don't understand how someone could just, leave. Not even look back, or come back. Everything was taken from me, my childhood. My innocence. My high school experience. Everything. Do you have any idea about that? I'm 17 and I don't even have my permit. I never had the chance to make friends. I have never had the chance to even go to the movies, or to the mall. And I'm not entirely blaming this on you but why couldn't you have come back? I'm sorry, but that's not an excuse." I said.

"I know, and I don't know how I can ever make it up to you, or truly show you how sorry I am. I regret it. I regret everything I did to you and I am so so sorry."

"I have wanted to die every minute of my life. I've cut myself so many times I can't even count anymore. "

"Please, I don't know how but I'll make it up to you. Somehow I want to make everything up to you. I'll figure it out. Please let me try." She pleaded.

"Okay. You can try. But I don't know what's going to make me see you differently, as a better person." I replied.

By the time we were done talking it was around 7:00. We talked until the store closed and somehow I managed to not cry.

"Hey baby how'd it go?" Adrian asked as I got into the passenger seat of his car.

"Good, actually. We talked, a lot. I'm happy we did." I replied with a smile.

I actually hope this would turn out good.

"And also, I told my boss I could come back to work tomorrow. I hope you don't mind!" I said intertwining our hands.

"I'm happy for you. You seem happy and I love seeing you happy. You deserve it." He said kissing my hand.

A/N: OMG GUYSSSS I am so so sorry for the delay of this update I got major writers block and I've been pretty sad lately. Today's my first day for fall break and my freshman year is going good so far!! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I love seeing my bbie happy and I hope to give her more happy parts!