That Depressed Girl

Chapter 4

Its been two weeks since I have seen that boy. I'm pretty worried, even though i haven't known him very long, I have started to grow feelings for him, he is just what i need to help me survive. I miss him. These past weeks have been basically hell for me.

Its like he s m other half, just what i need to be happy, for a while. Nothing lasts, you will never end up happy is what i have learned. *sigh*

So i guess noting really does get better huh?

So i decided not to go to school today, its not like my dad will care, he doesnt give a shit about my grades, and neither do i, what?! Its not like i have a goal in life.

I laid down and stared at the popcorn ceiling of our old shitty house.

Soon after i got up and crawled out of my window and shut it. I walked, for a long time, i dont know where i was walking, but at this point i didnt care what happened to me.

I looked into a window of a restaurant to see a happy family eating and laughing together. There was a little boy at the age of about 6, a older girl at the age of about 9, a baby girl, and two parents that truly loved each other. Tears brimmed in my eyes as i quickly walked away from the restaurant, i walked into an alley and fell onto my knees, i began to sob. I pulled at my hair and pulled at the hairbands o my wrist, that began to create a red and purple mark.

"Why do you do this to yourself?"

"what?"

I looked up and saw a woman, she kinda looked like me, but older.

"You dont have to do this. Youll get through this. You just have to try."

"thats what they all say"

I looked up and she was gone. I looked around and saw no one. Who was that?!

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The next morning i felt a little better, as all that I needed was someone to be there.

So last night I was thinking, and I'm going to drop out. My life is shit. My education is shit.  I mean why don't I just die? 
I grabbed a pair of shorts some X tights, high heeled black boots, and a tight black cami crop top.
I walked to the school, and saw that everyone was In the hall. As I walked to the office everyone looked at me.
"Bad ass" a guy whispered

I noticed some girls smirking, they walked up to me.

"Oh look it's the slut." One of them said

"You know what? I don't have time for a stupid shitty slut like you. All that you are ever going to be good at is sucking dick and painting your fake ass nails. So why don't you take your little fake mouth and shove it up your Ass!" I said

Her mouth dropped open and her friends looked at her, wondering what to say and do. So her frown turned into a smirk.

"Says the girl who her dad abuses her, her mom died, and she cuts herself everynight."

That's it I have had enough and I am sick and tired of her stupid shit.

So I slapped her stupid smirk off of her fake ass face.
Even with all the makeup you could see the red hand print on her cheek.
She screeched.

"Uh!! You will pay! You fucking piece of shit! Omg!!!!"

"Awe! Poor slut. Your little mommy can't do anything for you now." I smirked
So I punched her, straight in the face. Blood started to pour from her nose.
She slapped me. So I punched her in the stomach then her face twice.
"You've made my life shit. Now, it's time to pay you back stabbing slut cunt bag." I yelled, tackling her.

I punched her in the face, again, again, again, again, and again.

"Stop! Your going to kill her!" Her friends screeched

I got up off of her.

"Oh please, it's not like she ever have a fuck about any of you!"

I kicked her then walked out of school. Of course everyone's eyes were on me, but this time it was in awe, not in disgust.

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When I got home, I had decided to drop off another day.

I opened the door and my dad was standing there.

"Why aren't you at school?" He said concerned

"In dropping out."

"What?!" He yelled concerned

"Do you not understand?! I have been bullied and abused almost all of my life! You don't understand how you and the people at school had made my life a living hell! I should be dead!!! Huh?! Wouldn't that just give you SO much more money for drugs and alcohol!"

Tears began to pour out of my eyes, one after another.

"Hunny I'm so sorry."

"Really?! That's all you have to say? "Hunny I'm sorry?!" Your not sorry at all! You don't even know what sorry is do you?! God I can't wait until I'm 18 so I can just move out of this stupid hell hole!"

"Jessie I- I can't explain how sorry  I am. When your mother died, I went through depression. I couldn't find a way to handle it. I was beyond angry, so I drank, and when I drank, I couldn't control all the anger, and sadness, so I took it out on you. I shouldn't have and I'm sorry,  please, please PLEASE let me make it up to you. Somehow, someway."