That Depressed Girl

Chapter 3

I woke up to my annoying alarm clock, so I showered and threw on a sweater, some jeans and boots.
I'm kinda goth you could say.
I walked to school without eating again.
As I walked to my first class people called my names and attempted to trip me.
I sat down and did the directions on the board and read my Vampire Diaries book.

As the day went on everything was normal. When I got home, it seemed different.
My dad was home, and he seemed calm, and tired. Probably fucking high.
I ran to my room, locked my door, threw my bag on the floor and crawled out the window to the tree.

As I sat, with the breeze blowing my hair, and the leaves moving. I couldn't help but to think about that boy.
Who is he?
I just couldn't stop thinking about him and it was getting on my nerves.
As I looked down I saw him walking in the sidewalk.
"Hey, your that guy from yesterday"
"Miss me?" He smirked
"N-no"
"Sure."
He walked to the tree and climbed it, and sat on the branch next to me.
"Why are you always here?" He asked
"To get away."
"From what?"
"Your asking a lot of questions and I don't even know your name."
"Okay my name is Adrian." He said and turned.
"I'm Jessie"
"So why are you always here?"
"Just because okay?!"
"Okay fine."

Silence.
We were both quite.
"Why do you even care, no one else does." I whispered
"Who says he does?"
She said.
He looked at me, and I looked at him.
And soon we both leaned in, and our lips were moving in sync.
We climbed down onto the floor and laid down together.

~~~~~~~~
Hours later we were still talking and hanging out.
Honestly? I think I might be growing feelings for him. Even though I've only known him for a couple of hours.
We talked about our life's, and what has been going on.
Sometimes it feels good to tell people how you truly feel. And they will actually listen.
I haven't really had someone that I could talk to, in my whole life. So it felt good. And for the first time in almost 3 years, I was actually happy.
Something I thought I would never be again.
I feel as if I'm the only one going though this.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if i was happy.

~~~~~~~

"I'll see you tomorrow, same time, same place" Adrian said as we each walked our separate ways.

And somehow that night, I couldn't fall asleep. I was thinking of him, it's like I needed him by my side. Because without him, I don't seem happy.
And with him I was happy, and I loved the feeling of being happy.

*the next day*

After school I did the same thing as yesterday.
I sat on the branch that I sat in yesterday, waiting for adrian.

Hours passed and Adrian still wasn't here. It began to rain.
I stood there, in the rain, waiting for him.
Maybe yesterday was fake?
Maybe he really don't like me?
Or maybe he doesn't care?
Why would he play me like that?!

"Because that's how people are!" She yelled
But why do so many people find love?!
"You will never find love, you mine as well just die now, your just going to die anyways, so what's worth it?"
She said
She's right.
I walked home and made two fresh cuts and wrapped them up.
I had 5 wraps.
I felt numb, without him I felt numb. It's like he had some control over me.
I yanked at my hair.
Crying, I paced around my room.
I opened my drawer and plopped two pain pills into my mouth, and I took my depression medicine.
The doctor says it helps, but it doesn't.
I paced and screamed.
What's wrong with me?!
Why am I acting like this?
What the hell?!

I laid down and stared at the ceiling.
I felt numb, and sad somehow.
My cuts now had scabs over them so I put my wrap in my laundry pile. It was covered in blood.
I wiped all the extra blood off my arms and wiped my tears that continued to stream down my cheeks.
I looked down on my arms.
That are now covered in cuts.
Before, they were clean, and cut free.
But now, they are covered in scars and scabs, and slits.
I looked in the mirror, my makeup was smeared and tears were streaming down my face.
I picked up the picture of my dad and me, and threw it across my room, and it shattered.
I broke down.
I'm falling apart.
What's wrong with me?

Hey guys I hope you enjoyed that, if you did vote and comment and follow!