BEAUTIFUL

008

"so," jimin chews on a cookie as he stares at hoseok. "have your eyes on anyone yet?"

hoseok nearly chokes on his apple, eyes wide. jimin's plump lips curl into a wide smile, "you do, don't you? c'mon, who is it?"

hoseok composes hinself. "you first. i've seen how you look at taehyung."

jimin looks down, setting his half-eaten cookie on the table. "there's no point, though. he doesn't like me back."

"why would you think that?"

"hyung, he likes jeongguk."

"i don't know about that, i'm pretty sure he likes you. the other day, when we were in the lounge?" jimin nodded. "he smiled at you like you were his world."

jimin sighed, "tae smiles at everyone like that."

"you didn't see how he was earlier that day."

"he had an episode?" jimin asked worriedly.

hoseok nodded, and jimin's face fell. "you were with him, then?"

"his screams woke me up. i went into his room and managed to calm him down. that's why he was so quiet and distant all day."

"but jimin, when he saw you his eyes were shining again and he smiled so wide. if that boy doesn't love you, i don't know what to think," hoseok chuckled, patting jimin's hand.

jimin nodded, his lips curving into an small smile. "so, your turn?"

hoseok blushed furiously. "ah, well i don't know. i don't want you to hate me."

jimin smiled, "i won't hate you, hyung. just tell me!"

"i kinda like yoongi hyung?"

hoseok watched as jimin's eyes flashed with anger for a brief second before returning to their usual warm brown. a chuckle left his lips, "ah, hyung. i don't recommend falling for him. you'll only get hurt."

hoseok looked down, and then the two were quiet for a moment until jimin spoke up,"hey um, i have to head to the bathroom. see you in group?" hoseok nodded, flashing the younger a grin before jimin got up and rushed out of the cafeteria.

he made his way down the hall to the rooms and stopped in front of one with a closed door. jimin knocked twice, rocking on the balls of his feet. "open up, yoongi," he called.

finally the door swung open, a tired-looking yoongi in the doorway. "that's yoongi hyung, you brat. now what do you want? i was sleeping."

jimin pushed past yoongi into the room, taking a seat on the blonde's messy unmade bed. "i came to talk about hoseok hyung."

yoongi raised an eyebrow, "what about him?"

jimin crossed his arms across his chest. "you need to stay away from him. he's too good for you."

"since when do you direct my life?"

jimin narrowed his eyes. "i mean it. he likes you, and i don't want to see him hurt like i know you will. you're toxic to everybody around you, yoongi. look at you, you have no friends and your family abandoned you. doesn't that tell you anything?

the shorter male stood, walking past yoongi to the door, where he paused and looked back to the elder. yoongi was stood staring at the ground, fists clenched by his sides.

jimin walked out, satisfied. as he was walking down the hall, he passed by hoseok who seemed to be in a rush to get somewhere. disregarding his older friend, jimin made his way to group and sat down next to taehyung, smiling brightly.

✧

hoseok walked toward the room, unable to shake the nerves coursing through him. he hadn't seen yoongi in a few days, since after the supply closet incident namjoon had placed yoongi under suicide watch. it had been far too many close calls, the psychiatrist told hoseok.

he was actually skipping group today, deciding that yoongi's wellbeing was more important to him than spending an hour in an uncomfortable plastic chair surrounded by people who all didn't want to be there.

after knocking lightly, the door cracked open and yoongi's face appeared. "hi!" hoseok smiled brightly.

yoongi looked conflicted for a moment before finally pulling the door open. hoseok walked right in, plopping down on yoongi's roommate's bed, which was neatly made unlike the blonde's.

"what are you doing here?" asked yoongi in a gruff voice.

hoseok pouted, "what's that supposed to mean?" he gazed up at yoongi, who bit his lip and turned away.

"listen, hoseok. i don't know if we... this...," he made gestures with his hands between the two, "is gonna work. i'm not," yoongi sighed. "i'm not good enough for someone like you."

hoseok's stomach did a flip. "wh-what do you mean? of course you're good enough, hyung! you're amazing, why would you think that?"

yoongi clenched his fists, turning his back to hoseok and going to stand in front of the window. "hoseok, every minute of every day i'm thinking about how much better off i'd be if i was dead. you should be with someone who thinks every minute about you, about how much they love you." yoongi's voice cracked, and he lowered his head. "you should go."

hoseok shook his head even though he knew yoongi couldn't see him. he stood and walked over behind yoongi, gently placing his hand on the elder's shoulder blade, but yoongi flinched and turned around, pushing hoseok's hand away.

"hyung..." hoseok murmured, slowly wrapping his arms around yoongi, who he noticed was starting to breathe irregularly. this time, yoongi didn't push him away immediately. "yoongi, i really care for you. nothing's going to push me away, or make me leave. i-i need you, hyung."

yoongi's face twisted in pain as he shook his head harshly, pulling out of the younger's grasp and walking off to the other side of the room. his hands were in his hair, yanking at the blonde strands.

"for fuck's sake, you deserve someone who isn't entirely broken! you deserve someone who wants to be alive for you!" yoongi screamed, falling to his knees on the floor, sobs wracking his small body.

hoseok's heart was in pieces, but he stepped closer and slowly knelt down beside yoongi. an arm around the elder's waist, rubbing up and down soothingly, hoseok pressed a kiss to his temple.

"then don't stay alive for me, yoongi. stay alive with me."