Don't Hide From Me, Please? |✔

Chapter 6| Get Well Soon

Warning: Trigger Warning. Self harm among other things. Reader at you're own risk.

Everything my body feels is betrayal. Everything! All I do is keep my head down and avoid everyone. Aurora tried to talk with me but I ignored her. I’m not going to hang around anyone who is just pretending. I can’t do that. I don’t pretend to be okay, never. Zayn tried talking to me but I just shunned him.  He hurt me just as much the Grants’. Why? I’ve started gaining nightmares and Aaron’s nightmares have returned. By this point we just sleep in the same room. So, if we wake from a nightmare we comfort the other one. That Monday was the worst Monday of my life. Today, Mom is taking us to our lawyer to see what can be done of this. With them being in town.

If I go anywhere I’m scared to death that I’ll meet the green eyes of Brandon Grant. Aaron and I can barely concentrate. Everything beneath our feet is falling apart showing how broken I’ve always been. I want to die. I hate being in the same world has Brandon but the same town? It’s tearing me apart. Everyone in school knows I’m slowly dying inside.

Aaron and I breath in the silence of our lawyer’s office. Telephones ring here and there breaking the silence occasionally. Mom is starting to worry about our mental state and is becoming very impatience. His secretary walks in front of us ushering us into his office. We walk in with Aaron and I’s head down. Nothing is right. Nothing can be done.

We all take seats. “Ah, Miss Heart.” Frank Williams says. My mom says nothing. Silence lingers in the air. Williams clears his throat awkwardly. “Right, Miss Heart there is nothing we can do unless he physically contacts Aaron and Violet Valentine.” He says the predictable. My mother stands up protectively. “As their parent, I am deemed to protect them. How am I supposed to do that when they are already scared shitless?” She screams.

I stand up keeping my head down. I grab Aaron’s and Mom’s arms. I drag them out of the building and into the street. “Mom, stop please.” I say pity spring from my voice. How could I let myself get this way? “I’m trying to protect you!” She snaps back. “I know but right now we just need your reassurances. Williams is right. We can’t do anything.” I mumble keeping my head down. Every night I cry in the shower. They hide my tears from everyone around me. I hear Mom sigh. She wraps her arms around us. “I guess you’re right.” She breaths.

●●●

Thursday, a day that is so close the Friday. Everything is ruined. I roll out of bed. Aaron is already up. I walk back to my room that has been unused for the past two weeks. I slip on gray sweat pants and a baggy black tee shirt. I brush my hair. My eyes linger on my reflection. My blue sea green eyes flash depression all over my face. I sigh as I brush my teeth. I slip on light blue tennis shoes.

Nothing about me is normal. I’ve stopped taking medicine for depression and the thought of blood running down my arm flashes before me. The need to feel the blade glide smoothly down my arm tingles throughout my arm. I shake my head walking out of the bathroom. I grab my now black backpack.

Why care about what I look like when no one else cares about me? I mechanically walk to the hissing bus. I plug in my black headphones and I listen to One Last Breathe by: Creed. The bus pulls up to the school and I walk to the exit.

I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking maybe six feet ain’t so far down.

Why do I have to live through is pain? Or the unknown feeling that makes me physically sick? I’m so worried that I’m going to see him and I’ll break down from the gravity weighing on me. Will he follow the restraining order? I don’t know. I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I turn around sharply fearing winding in me. I relax when I see the sad face off Aurora.