loneliness

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Everyone in the house seems occupied—Dad left for the office, my sister is off to college, and Mom is busy in the kitchen, as usual. But me? I’m just here, caught in my thoughts. Sometimes, it feels like I’m the only one standing still while the world around me moves at a hundred miles per hour.

I’ve got to make notes on Othello today—a Shakespeare tragedy, fitting, isn’t it? But I keep getting distracted. My mind drifts, wandering into the same old question: when will I find my perfect match? Will it ever happen? What’s he like, where must he be right now? What’s he doing?

Sigh. Right now, all I have are my books and my imagination for company. It’s just me, alone in this room, in this world of mine. Should I even be thinking about marriage? I don’t know. I guess it’s inevitable, right? It’s something I’ll have to face sooner or later, so why not now?

Maybe I should tell Mom to find me a decent guy. But what do I even want in a partner?

Okay… so… let’s see. He should be loyal and handsome… yes, that’s a given. There has to be something about him that draws me in, right? And then, of course, Mom will ask, "What profession do you want him to have?" Ugh, I don’t know… simple, maybe. An engineer would be fine. Or a businessman. But definitely no army, no navy, and no pilots.

It’s not that I don’t respect military men—I do, deeply—but I’m just not built for that kind of life. Maybe I’m not brave enough. I don’t know why I’m even explaining this to myself… ugh. Just get married, Rania, before you lose your mind.

So, yes. Finally, I’ve settled the marriage issue. Now I have an answer for Mom.

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