Bittersweet

1

I didn't know exactly when I fell foolishly head over heels for him.

Maybe it was when I found myself impatiently waiting for his rare smile.

Maybe it was when I heard his soft chuckle despite the hurt in his eyes.

Or maybe it was when I got a glimpse of his real soul after something in his shell broke.

I can't pin point it. All I knew was that I was madly in love with a madman.

A carefully careless madman.

An unapologetic distant and unavailable madman.

A calm like the silent sea madman.

As I yearned for his arms and soul, he ran to the edge of the planet.

****

"Hey dimwit, how are your college classes going?" My happily just married sister Malak asked as soon as she entered our house. As soon as she got married, Amir whisked her away from my house, but she still came to visit regularly.

I sighed as I sat on the coffee table chair. "Boring." I flipped another horrific page in my history book.

Malak laughed. "It will get better. You're going to be excited once you get into your real major."

I waved her off lazily. "Yeah Yeah." I rolled my eyes.

I knew I was supposed to be enjoying my first days of college and I was supposed to be making new freinds and going out but I felt like I was doing exactly the opposite.

I wasn't enjoying my first semester, I didn't want to make new freinds, and I was too annoyed to go out with peers because I am too bothered to act fake for the sake of socializing.

"Stop brooding." Malak teased. "Amir and Sameer came too so you might want to run up and grab a hijab." Malak nodded at the stairs.

Sameer.

My eyes almost bulged out of my head and my heart thumped loudly. I quickly sprinted up the stairs into my small room and yanked off a beige hijab that was hanging in the closet. I wrapped it around gently before rushing down stairs and sitting in the same brooding position that I was in.

It was as if I never moved a muscle.

'Act natural' I told myself as I watched from the corner of my eye as Sameer and Amir walked into the living room.

Sameer looked breathtaking as usual in his business attire but today he looked extra sharp in his dark navy suit and black messy hair that fell over his deep caramel brown eyes. He ran his fingertips over his light beard he was sporting.

Where was he going all fancy like that? I asked myself. I felt a small ping of jealousy run through me as I wondered where he was going and who he was seeing.

"Hey Diana." Amir called from the couch. I picked my head up watching Sameer. He did not even glance at me. He was too busy on his phone.

"Hi." I say maybe a little too loud. I was trying to see if I'd get Sameer's attention. I admit, I am desperate.

Nothing.

His thumbs fly over the keyboard of his phone and I figure he's busy typing.

Malak watched me carefully. I didn't know if she knew I was madly in love with Sameer. As far as she knew I had a little crush on Choji who now I do not see romantically anymore. He's more of an older brother.

"What's the plan for today." Sameer asked Amir and I melted into a puddle. He had the softest manliest voice ever.

I stopped reading and listened to him talk. I wish he'd keep talking forever.