"Sorry doesn't cut it, Jidenna. You have been lying for 4 years, our whole relationship. I just don't know if I can trust you anymore," I say. Jidenna just comes closer to me and wraps me in a tight hug. "Just because I am letting you hug me doesn't mean I forgive you"
Jidenna whispers in my ear while his head is buried in my shoulder, "I know, my beautiful queen."
_ _ _ _ _ _
God sake, this bra is so annoying.I try to move my bra to fit comfortably. My chest feels like its so much bigger than before. Now put that on my checklist, bra and jean shopping my next free day. Everything is starting to feel so tight. I hear footsteps into the kitchen and I turn around to see Jidenna.
I set the plate on the counter and grab the second plate I made. Jidenna and I haven't been talking as much sometimes not at all. I call him down for meals and to tell him where I am going but we still haven't talked about 'it'. I can see how sad Jidenna is every time I walk out of the room when he is there. I walk out of the kitchen like I being chased by a demon.
I don't know how to act around him anymore. I still love him and I don't think I will ever stop. I just need to get around the fact he is a mob boss. I know that Jidenna will never hurt me neither put in me any trouble. I walk into the study and sit behind the computer table with my food. I must be getting my period soon, I feel small craps.
Why does it smell so strong? I don't like the smell but I am so hungry and I am not going to stop eating. This is the reasons why my jeans are getting so tight.
_ _ _ _ _ _
Jidenna asked me out to dinner tonight to finally discuss everything that has happened. Jidenna knows me so much because he left two whole weeks for me to get used the idea before badging me with questions. The sad thing is I don't think I know much about him than he knows about me. I walk down the stairs and to Jidenna who escorts me into the car outside.
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I am wearing a jumpsuit because I will look a little bit slimmer because I have been gaining weight like crazy. The car ride was awkward, but what could be expected we tried small talk but it wasn't working. I miss how we were before I knew about this, we would talk until my mouth was sore.
Just like the car ride, most of the dinner was small talk. I ordered two different desserts; Tiramisu slice and sticky date pudding. I say before I take a big spoon of the pudding, "I guess it's time to talk, Jidenna."
"It is. Y/N I wanted to tell you, I truly did but somehow I couldn't. I didn't want you to see me as a killer, someone you should fear." Jidenna says. You can just tell he has been nervous for this moment. My stomach fees so unsettling.
"Jidenna, I love you and always will. This is going to be hard for me to get used but I will get used to it because I want to be with you no matter what. When did you become the lead-" I cover my mouth with my hand and run to the closest restroom which happens to be the disabled. I rush to the toilet and get on my knee to throw up in the toilet. Jidenna rubs my back soothingly as I throw up.
We are currently heading to the nearest 24-hour clinics to check on me. I don't think it was a big deal but Jidenna went all dominant and is forcing me. Jidenna says, "You're pregnant."
