Becoming A Weeb

Hi-5 (Yes the show)

Note: This is a joke, it's how Kira perceives the world around her. This under no circumstances represents in what I personally believe in. 

~

She doesn't respond. She won't cause I blocked her. HA! Traitors go to the bin. The bin outside the gym with Tim. Sorry, got distracted. My parents tell me I have something called ADHD which sounds like an Anime. 

I saw Senpai this week. He was beautiful, but he had other friends and was always hanging around other girls. I took a test like yesterday and it said I was Yandere. So, I will stalk my lover and kill everyone around them like Mirai-Nikki. She is an idol to me. 

I had to sit next to this mexican kid. I think his name was Jose, and he was pretty annoying. He told me he was tired, and I really couldn't care less. I requested to move, and thankfully, I was moved to sit behind senpai. 

So recently, so many nihon students came to the school along with Koreans. They all were pretty smart at math, and sucked at English. They were pretty gigglish, very nice, and bowed at me when I said thanks. 

We were in the cafeteria, and one of them approached me and started to angrily rant at me in Japanese, so I couldn't understand, which probably meant they liked me. They don't serve rice in the cafeteria, meaning that there was an angry mob of asians surrounding the cafeteria, screaming about something. 

Someone brought out the signs, and they began parading around the counter, as western students shuffled confusedly around the angry mob of asians. I managed to catch parts of the conversations that the Americans were squabbling about. 

"What the hell?" One asked. 

I felt like I needed to be with my relatives, so I neared them, and started chanting with them. "Bring in the rice! We need the rice!" I yelled along with the rest, and everybody nodded at me. Soon enough, I found myself on the shoulders of a surprisingly buff male, and I started yelling louder.

"We need rice!" I chanted over and over again, and everybody else seemed to be screaming in approval. "Watashitachi ni wa Amerika ga hitsuyōdesu!" I chanted in Japanese. 

I was put down, and I thanked the man. I picked up a sign, yelling at the cafeteria ladies. It was weird, a blonde haired girl in the midst of brunettes and black haired individuals. My eyes narrowed at the group of 'friends' I had if they didn't support me. They mostly just face palmed, and ignored my screaming for rice. For f•cking rice. 

I approached the sorry excuse group of friends, and asked them, sightly raising my voice so they would be able to hear me. "Hey, guys, why aren't you out there?"

"It's just I'm kinda hungry and I really don't want to force myself to protest." Bara-Chan argued, looking pathetically at her food, playing with the fork nervously. 

"Don't look at me, Bara-chan didn't want to be alone," Subarashii-kun raised his hands in surrender. He cast a long glance at Bara-chan, that didn't seem to catch his motive. "Um, FuwaFuwa-kun is with the Mexican kid."

I took a gander behind me, and they didn't disappoint, since FuwaFuwa-kun was animatedly talking to Jose or whatever. His hands moved so much, and was attracting so much attention, that I actually wanted to go up there and slap the anime out of him. He should've stayed in the country. 

It was weird, but that was taken care of. 

~

The next day, the ladies at the cafeteria had begrudgingly added rice to the menu. It sold out within seconds- every Asian was just vacuuming up rice, and it seemed that they had brought their own chopsticks. 

One of them sat next to me, speaking to me in broken English. "Hello, I'm Deniz, but you can call me Miku-Chan. I have noticed this is the anime club, and just so the plot moves forward, I come from Korea," 

"Woah! That's soooo close to Nihon!" I squealed, and the rest just gave her a half-smile. Bara-Chan was back to not talking as much, and instead chose to play with her food. Meanwhile, Subarashii-kun was enthusiastically speaking about his history homework, and someone called Alexander Hamilton. 

I tuned out, and instead listened to the other's conversations. (Like interdimensional cable b)

"Can I get-uh, B O N E L E S S  P I Z Z A?" One of them yelled loudly to their friend, who responded with a, "What the hell is a B O N E L E S S  P I Z Z A?" 

Another table was where Sophie was. That little- well, anyways, her conversation was less than interesting. "I can't believe you finally got a boyfriend! You're probably gonna last for two months." Boyfriends are for losers. She responded with a, "Wow, you're supportive," 

"WE'RE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, IT'S TO BE EXPECTED."

The table next to them was even louder, "Por dios!" (A/N it's like 'I swear to god') 

"Hey, don't say the lord's name in vain!" Another exclaimed angrily, hitting the table with their fist.

"Oh sorry, I meant por dos!" (A/N it means times 2- It's a play on words in spanish)

*Overwatch warning*

The next table over seemed to be talking about sexual stuff, and really, it's so common, I've developed a blind eye to it. 

"I'd totally bang the Junkenstein's Revenge Mercy skin," A guy joked, and somebody else groaned. 

"What the hell, dude, shut up. That's so weird," 

"Don't tell me you wouldn't!" 

*Rip my life this conversation actually happened*

I suddenly stood up, and I felt my feet guiding me somewhere. It was the bathroom. Huh, I didn't know I needed to pee. But, on one of the mirrors, in bright red lipstick, it read, 

'Kira.

Your life is a lie. 

Anime isn't real, 

and you should know that.

You're in middle school.

Love,

EVERY F•CKING ONE <3'

I broke down crying. I am getting death threats, and I don't like it. I kneeled on the bathroom floor, and I swear I could've heard the hysterical laughing of those bitches outside. I will destroy them, por dos- I mean, Watashi wa kami ni chikau (I swear to god).

They won't even see it coming.