Becoming A Weeb

Dozen a Dime

For some reason, it doesn't let me, but I dedicate this chapter to the IRL FuwaFuwa-Kun for some mysterious reason (if he ever reads it-- even if I've made some rash mistakes still ly tho)

KiraKira-chan's views are not mine. Neither are the brands/animes/copyrighted content that doesn't belong to me mentioned in this book. Thanks! Also, thanks for 500 views!

~

After rescuing Shin-chan, my vision cleared and my memories were regained.  It was if doing something for someone else actually helped me! Wait never mind; I just wore my Vampire Knight glasses to bed. The news reported sprinted up to us, with his cameraman in tow. "Jeez, ᴿᶦᶜᵏ," she panted, breathing heavily. The camera dipped, before promptly straightening itself again. The reporter smiled nonchalantly, shoving the microphone at our faces. 

"You're Kira, right?" 

"It's KiraKira-chan you inbred!"

"ₖᵢᵣₐₖᵢᵣₐ₋𝒸ₕₐₙ?" The reporter asked, shrinking away in fear. "ᴵᵗ'ˢ ʸᵒᵘ..ˀ"

"What do you want pleb!"

The reporter exclaimed, "You're the one who--"

"I don't care. Why have you come to meddle with us, you puny mortal?" 

The reporter's eyes brightened, speaking into the microphone. "These people have saved a woman from the resident pedophile! How have you done it?" She tilted the foam microphone back towards our group. 

"Well, we had to go through many difficulties-- and of course, people should be indebted to me. Shin-chan couldn't even do her nails in the dark and musty room! It was just the right thing to do. "

"Faarquad only accepts a fair trade. What did you have to give to get 'Shin-chan' back?" The reporter adjusted their grip on the handle. Miku-chan spoke before I had a chance. 

"We... uh... turned in someone who is the enemy?" She looked back and gave Geodude-Kun a shrug. "She bullied others and didn't believe me that... I'm dating my favorite idol..." The reporter, as usual, ignored anyone that had an IQ lower than -18. 

FuwaFuwa-Kun had to respond this time. "I-- I think she means to say that Faarquad was so scared from our attack that he had no choice but to flee." 

FuwaFuwa-Kun lied, but that's alright. Because it's expected of him because he hid his true feelings for Bara-chan this whole time, I thought. Geodude-Kun stumbled forwards, the fat on his body wobbling and creating earthquakes in Australia. 

"Yeh, yeah, I think..." Geodude-Kun grasped the microphone harshly, the fat on his non-existent neck wobbling. The reporter tried to pull back but inevitably failed, as Geodude-Kun had a lot of experience playing Osu. His grubby fingers pulled the microphone with force. "I think that the Halloween Mercy skin should have more cleavage. I also want Rias Gremory to fall in love with me." 

He let go, the microphone almost slamming back and hitting the reporter. Subarashii-Kun smiled, walking up to the reporter and softly speaking into the mike. "Hairspray Florida, FL, Amaturo Theatre at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts, November 30 and December 1st. Don't miss it hoes, get the ticket link at @bcpa_hairspray on Instagram, bitches." He walked back, after broadcasting his ad.

"Okay, okay, calm down!" Shin-chan intervened, finally sick of hearing whatever her friends had to say. "I got rescued, and they had to trade me for someone."

"Who were you traded for?" 

"Sophie Chicka Chicka Boom Boom," Shin replied. 

"Her?" The reporter clutched his head, nervously pulling at his fancy jacket. He rubbed his palms together, and after a moment of intense pondering, he spoke, "Oh no, this is not good!" 

I glanced and shrugged at the rest of my friends. They shrugged back, except Miku-chan, that didn't understand, but she shrugged a few seconds later because one of the things that brings her joy is to be included. Her smile put me on guard. Something was wrong. Miku-chan usually doesn't follow with our antics. Yes, we may judge her harshly, but even Miku-Chan wasn't this moronic as she was today. 

"Miku-Chan... are you alright?" I asked, ignoring the muttering reporter behind me. 

"Why, yes!" Miku-Chan snickered. "Truly," 

"Miku-Chan can't speak in fancy! Who are you?" Bara-Chan pointed out. We surrounded the imposter. 

"You're right!" She snickered, again. "I'm not Miku-Chan, but I am not here to harm." We hit her with a stray stick from the ground. 

"Ōse rareta akuma (Begone demon)!" I chanted, hitting the imposter. She will not torment poor Miku-Chan! I hit her again and again. "Leave my friend!" Unbeknownst to us back then, the camerawoman was recording everything. 

"Okay fine! I'm an imposter! I just wanted to take her boyfriend but no... I didn't know she had friends!" The woman screamed, ripping off her wig. "But her boyfriend is away and..."

It was one of Sophie's groupies! That b--

"--there you are! You're a thief!" The real Miku-Chan ran up and hit the imposter. "You stole my things...! Is this my uniform that KiraKira-Chan gave me? Is that the necklace that Bara-Chan gave to me?"

"I--"

"Why are you holding to part of my mother's ashes? Why?" Miku-Chan roared, using the secret summoning technique I taught her to only apply in certain situations. The ground below her glowed light blue, just like the accents on her uniform. The lights interconnected, displaying a pentagram with more edges. So, a dodecahedron. 

A gem emerged from the circle and radiated brightly, rising to about bellybutton height for a very short woman. Chains sprung from the jewel and captured the imposter. "My friends may bully me constantly, but they care about me! The only thing you have going on in your life is the constant disappointment from your parents because they realized that you do the things you do because you're bigger of an idiot than I!" 

The girl cried, actually reflecting on her choices for once. She pleaded, "I'm sorry!" again and again. Miku-Chan calmed down and let her go. It was the end of a long day, and everyone wanted to go home. 

"Oh yeah, what are you so worried about, reporter guy with no current name?" I asked him, turning around. 

"Do you not know...? Sophie Chika Chika Boom Boom's the heiress to a paramount, rich and powerful family."