Becoming A Weeb

Soldier 76

Note: This is satire. Please try to at least understand what satire is. Thank you.

~

Well, Shin-kun was now Shin-chan. (S)He doesn't talk to us now, but I did run the chant through Google Translate, and it practically meant that someone had to turn into a girl. Pity the goddess chose Shin-chan, (s)he was a very valuable asset.

Recently, we received another Death Threat™. Along with that, they sent a disk. I know right? Who uses disks anymore! They are sooooo last century!

I almost threw the CD out, thinking it to be useless. But, Miku-chan almost convinced me to lend it to her, so that she could listen to whatever was recorded there.

The album cover was very simple. white background and some symbols in another language. It said LY in English, and a simple flower drawing made from lines of purple, pink , and blue decorated the cover.

Miku-Chan's eyes widened. She probably understood or something. Where did she come from again? Africa? New Zealand? Her mother's womb?

She smirked slightly. "Heya- KiraKira-chan, can I have this?"

"No." I remembered something. "Wait, you're Korean, so that means that this is Korean."

"uh-"

"holy kaneki's balls! This is a BTS album!" I screeched. "AND YOu WANT TO TAKE IT HOME TO BETRAY US?"

"No! My-uh- sister likes this!"

"LIESSSSS! YOU'RE AN ONLY CHILD!" I stood on top of the table. Everyone was already used to this, so they ignored me. Damn, this is hard.

"Actually I'm not an-"

"YOU WERE THE ONE SENDING THE THREATS"

Bara-chan tugged on my shirt. "Hey, let it go."

"THIS ISN'T FROZEN, ANA!" I seethed. "YOU ARE GOING TO BETRAY US?!!!?"

"No, it's that-"

"Forget it. I've already lost a bunch of friends." I jumped off the table and sat down on the chair. "First, my sister, my parents, Sophie, Shin-kun (who turned into a girl if you don't remember), and now you."

"I'm not leaving... I was gonna say that one of the band members is my boyfriend. More specifically, Park Jimin (AKA; the gift from the gods)." She replied, coming to approach me. Her English was improving, yet I hear a distinct Korean accent.

"YOU'VE BEEN WITH MORE THAN FRIENdLY WITH THE ENEMY?" I jumped up on the table again. Subarashii-kun sighed dejectedly.

"Here she goes again," Bara-chan flatly commented, as she continued eating from her Naruto-styled bento box.

"THAT'S IT WE'RE NOT TOMODACHII ANY MOREEEE!" I stomped my foot on the table, making Bara-chan's bento box fly up in the air.

"That's the last straw! Ima anata wa sore o yatta! Watashi no tabemono o konran sa senaide! Ikatteiru! (Now you've done it! Do not mess with my food! I am angry!)" Screamed Bara-chan, causing other people to glance.

Bara-chan doesn't scream. Her personality trait is silent like Mori, from OHSHC. Sophie was walking by with her new friends. I could feel her glare on me. Why did she hate me so much?

Meanwhile, Miku-chan was screaming as well. I almost fainted. "PARK JIMIN IS MY BOYFRIEND! I HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE THIS ALBUM! I THOUGHT WE WERE CHINGU!! (friend in Korean)"

"Naze anata wa watashi ni kore o yarou to shimasu ka? Watashi wa anata no tomodachidesu! (WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I AM YOUR FRIEND!)" Bara-chan took a deep breath. "Yūjin! (friend)" 

"He's not your boyfriend, you liar." Sophie intervened. It wasn't even her conversation! (I mean more like full-blown argument) I could spot the principal staring at us, with a hidden bottle of Johnny Walker up her sleeve. 

As much as I hated Miku-Chan, right now, Sophie was worse. "You're not wanted here, traitor." Bara-Chan stopped screaming and Subarashii-kun dropped his fork. FuwaFuwa-kun coughed.

"Just saying the truth, weeb." She retorted, her friends trying to drag her away. 

"Shut the fuck up, koreaboo. I'm not doubting Miku-chan here, even if she's dumb. Her eyes reflect with sincerity." 

"Then why did you doubt me? I'm not gonna betray you!" She exclaimed, tearsabout to form in her eyes. 

"Because there's evidence against you." 

"Hey! Park Jimin is Min Yoongi's boyfriend!" Sophie used her fangirl attack! It was a miss!

"I'll show you. Come with me after school for legit proof." Miku-Chan challenged! Sophie is infuriated!

"Sure!" She narrowed her eyes. "If you are lying, I'll beat you up." 

"Game on."