Becoming A Weeb

11 bottles of beer on the wall

"Hey, girl! You can't be out here bullying other children! You're going to the office." a hooded man glowered above me.

"Anatahadare! (who are you in Japanese)" I raged, feeling the power rise again. My veins were burning with pure adrenaline and my only goal was to kill this pleb. "My power rises above your cognition!"

"Not one of these idiots," The man sighed as held me by the hand, dragging me towards the hellhole. The happy atmosphere around me vanished, leaving but a trace. Goosebumps grew along the length of both of my arms, the hairs of my neck suddenly upright. This man-- the one who defeated my ultimate power-- was definitely dangerous. I succumbed to his ideals, but only for a second, as I called upon the spirits.

"Those who have been defeated by this man, rise up and lend me your power." The air surrounding me grew warmer for a moment before becoming frigid again.

"No... we can't..." One of them muttered. I growled in resignation, finally giving up. "But you can."

An idea floated into my head. Using all my preserved might, I rose above, using the secret technique of the Phoenix. I put all my energy into my palms, using all my effort. I made a Kamehameha motion and pushed the man at the back of his knee. A lightning strike hit my arms, making them smell kinda burnt really. The man was paralyzed for a few seconds.

He started by twisting around to glare at me. he slowly moved his leg, trying to wave the pain off. I ran and muttered an incantation to bless my legs the speed of a tiger. It wasn't long before the blessing wore off and the man caught up to me. What he didn't realize was that we weren't on his turf. We were on mine. I cupped my hands together and let out an animalistic scream.

"Attack the intruder!"

Many people emerged from the bushes and nearby boulders. "Kiya!" They advanced slowly, but they were cornering my villain.

"Well, well, well. You finally decide to show yourselves," The man chuckled menacingly. His laughter crossed every street, school, and home. *not including bathrooms*

"You will never get your friend back, idiots! I have everything! And now... I will exact my revenge!" He stepped back once more, getting ready to strike. The principal, as drunk as she usually is, stumbled in with a bottle of whiskey on one hand. She tried to approach us but ultimately failed. Her face, now dirty with some grass and maybe bird feces. She wiped some off.

"Wh-what's going on here...?" She slurred, clumsily taking out her phone. We ignored her and started getting ready to fight. The man threw the first punch, as I dodged and kneed him. I had the backing of all the spirits now.

"Rigatoni pepperoni!" I yelled, casting a glance behind me. Two people rushed up to cover my flanks as they spun like a Beyblade and threw smooth rocks at the man. "Watashi no Dikku o taberu!" (I eat my dick).

"Watashi mo! Watashi wa mainichi sore o suru! (me too! I will do it every day!)" Said Geodude-Kun, as he solemnly stood. The fat on his sides kind of wavered in the sun, but he made his best effort to run and hide.

Miku-chan went straight on but hit her head against the man. She wasn't very smart. The man chuckled again. Miku-chan was furious, so she decided it was for the best that she didn't remove her sword from the hilt. She called forth the power of the panda, one of the stupidest animals, to scare the man.

"Wor-world star!" The principal slurred, sloshing her drink around. Her phone was in her hand, recording the showdown.

The man laughed again, throwing his neck back. his hood fell from his head and we saw his identity. It was Faarquad.

"You idiots don't know anything!"

"Nani?" I screamed, halting in my attack.

"That's right. Now, you don't want to lose your friend, do you?" We all shook our head. "She's useless. I need a new one, for your friend. " I looked around, finding no one I wanted to-- there she was!

Kakkoi-- SOPHIE!

I would turn her in! Shin-chan would be back! Even if he is now she we will accept her.

"Okay, we will take your deal."

"That's great! Where is she?" I pointed at Sophie. Faarquad smiled, stalking over towards her and then kidnapping her.

"It was for the best..." I sighed. Bara-Chan glared at the ground, FuwaFuwa-kun tried to comfort her, Miku-chan was too busy uh, something else. "ALRIGHT FAARQUAD WHERE IS SHIN-CHAN?"

"Here," He pushed a woman towards us. "Take her! I can't stand her!" Shin-chan walked towards us, sighing dramatically.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to file my nails in that dusky room?"

"Mission accomplished!"