Luke's POV

      I know she means no harm. She doesn't see a problem. It's not like I can just tell her that she is being, almost, dare I say it, selfish. She will get all defensive because that's all she knows. She has known nothing but being put last and now that I will give her everything, which includes my undivided attention, she is taking full advantage of it. It shouldn't be focused on her now though, it's over it's done. She remembers and she choses to forget. There isn't anymore conflicts. She knows herself and she knows me and as far as I'm concerned, it's over.

       Even if this doesn't turn into me overnight, it doesn't matter. I just want it to turn into us. We aren't together, we aren't just friends and most importantly we just don't know. We really don't know. We are waking up everyday knowing we are going to go to each other but for what? Loving someone for their benefit, sucks.

      "This whole time everything has been about you." I tell her, trying to be cautious of my words. "And I'm sitting here trying to be okay with that."
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     We were just talking in the locker room because it was empty at this time, and he starts this. This comes from out of nowhere and he's trying to play it off as a normal conversation. It doesn't work like that, Luke. Allow me to demonstrate.
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      She looks at me, challenge overtaking her eyes. "You should be okay with that, I went through hell and back, not you!" She told me making sure to emphasize the I in that sentence. It hasn't taken me long to realize that that's her favourite word. "Yeah! And I had to deal with the aftermath of that, the guilt of that, and everything in between!" It came out almost as a growl. I'm starting to lose my patience with her. She knows her situation had an impact on me much greater than herself. The challenge in her eyes faded as mine seem to grow, she almost looks hurt.

       "I never asked you to deal with me." Deal being said with much more attitude then her body language was giving off. "If I'm so much of a burden, you didn't have to act like you needed to help me." I feel my fumes coming off me as if I'm kettle that just blew out. Despite the water boiling in my veins, I'll swallow down the screams and be patient with her. "I didn't. I never once acted like I needed to help you. I just needed you to know the truth." Before I was barely done my sentence she chimed in, all emotions sad and hurtful gone from her voice completely. "Well I know now. And I also know that you didn't want me this entire time." Entire time. As if we've known each other since day one out of the womb. Frankly, that sounds a lot better than pushing her out of a window and winks and stares from across the hall.

      "You know who I am now, you are the one who made me try and discover who I am now. So that little girl that you, so called, fell in love with, That isn't me anymore." There was nothing I could say to that. Nothing that can make it sound like I'm not stuck in that past. I'm perfectly fine with who she is now, more so than I was when she was faking this whole persona. I just want her to know I need to be a part of this too. She had to open her mouth again. She had to put the whole cherry on top. "And I'm sorry if you're not ok with that. But I finally am. And I'm not going to regret that."

      I feel the atmosphere changing. We aren't mad at each other. We're mad that we don't know what we're doing. I take her wrist delicately in my hand, placing it on my chest. "Do you feel that?" I asked with tears in my eyes, losing all strength my body contained.

      "Luke, if you say it only beats for me, I'm going to punch you." Amelia tells me, with frustration as she loses all patience she had in her.

       "No." I say sounding more desperate than anything else. "It means I'm real. I'm real and I feel things, and Amber, I can't keep waiting for you. Either you meet me half way or leave me where I am because I can't keep going the full distance anymore. You have to try." Either you're with me or you're not. And clearly she doesn't even care enough to tell me where we're at.

       "Listen, Luke. I think that that's why this can't work. Whatever this is. We're in two completely different ends of everything." And if that wasn't enough to break me in pieces, she had to keep going. "In the football games, you're content with sitting on the bleachers and if I had your skill, I rather be on the field. In a record shop, you're listening to Green Day and I'm listening to Drake. In a coffee shop you order a hot chocolate and I order an Extra Large Vanilla Bean Latté. If we're getting drinks, you get a Coffee while I get a slushy. Luke, we're different people, we shouldn't have to met each other halfway we should already be halfway and just close a gap. That's how this is suppose to work." And with that I let go of her delicate hand, with a rose gold band on her pointer finger, nails painted jet black.

     "Ok, so I'll make a deal with you." I propose to her. "I'll stay where I am but I'm not going to stay where I am isolating myself from everyone. I'm going to stay but when opportunities come my way and people come my way, I'm not going to shut that down, because like you said all it is is closing a gap and if they're right there, I'll close the gap if I feel it's right. But if I turn back, and I see you halfway, I swear I'll run." I had to pause before I fall more helpless by the second. "I'll freaking fly if I have to, Amelia, I don't care. And that's all because you went half way. If you're not there, don't expect to see me in my place anymore. 'Cause I'm done." Throwing my hand up in surrender, I don't even take time to second glance her face. I just leave. My way of showing her I want her more than this, whatever this is. If she wants me too, I'll be here.
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       As he was walking out the door, I couldn't help but stop him. "Luke." I say sounding more desperate then I have in this entire lifetime I've lived. It felt as if I disintegrated into dust and I had no purpose. He turns backs and looks. "In your song, the two lost kids are supposed to go to the edge of the world together." He isn't following. He doesn't understand where I'm going yet. "I'm not meeting you in the middle. It's not because I don't want you, not that I don't want to try, not that I don't wanna commit." I say faster the more courage I gain as I go along. "But for something as simple as; we need to walk together. Whether it's to the edge of the world or to the middle of that football field." He looks hurt. More hurt then I've ever seen him. We truly are different people. From the way we feel and express pain all the way to how we let it come up on our face. He's an open book from his eyes and mine is where I store all memories I want to erase. "Just promise me you'll look back."

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     I give out my pinky for her to wrap her's around. She smiles, knowing why I'm sealing the promise with this act in particular.

"Promise."




A/N:

Remember Chapter 9 to understand "why I'm sealing the promise with this act in particular." 😉😉 LLLOOOVVVEEEEE YYYOOOUUUU

-Alissa

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