Must I Imagine You There

Dreaming

"Who do you think that song was for?" Kurt asked softly, through his tears.

"It was just a song," Blaine replied.

"And that's why I have to leave," Kurt exclaimed. He was crying now, with tears rolling freely down both cheeks and Blaine didn't know what to do. Why was Kurt so upset? Sure music was powerful but it was just a song. Why would that answer have upset him? But before Blaine could even think of what to say next, Kurt turned and started running in the opposite direction.

Blaine stood perfectly still, trying to process what had just happened. Who had that song been for? Kurt had sung it so beautifully, as if every note and lyric were being pulled directly from his own heart. Could it be that Kurt had been singing it for someone in particular? But if Kurt liked someone in his class, why was he being so strange toward Blaine? Ignoring him for weeks, making stupid excuses, Kurt wasn't making any sense.

Blaine tried to think back to Kurt's performance of 'I have Nothing.' He was trying to remember if Kurt been looking at one person more than the others? If he'd been focusing on anyone in particular, that might tell Blaine something, but he couldn't think of anyone. Kurt had looked at the class as well as the teachers pretty evenly. Actually now, that Blaine thought about it, he was the only one Kurt hadn't looked at, not even once. Kurt had been avoiding making any eye contact with Blaine while singing a love song.

Then suddenly it was like someone had turned on a light. Blaine reeled as if struck. Kurt had been singing to him. It was the only thing that made sense! The simple realization, felt like a punch to the stomach. How had he of all people missed this? Then again, Kurt had been so attentive, so caring since the day they'd met, Blaine had assumed that was just who Kurt was. He always put others first, was there for them no matter what. But that was wrong. Blaine just hadn't realized before, because Kurt always put Blaine first, was there for Blaine no matter what. It wasn't about all other people. Blaine had just thought of Kurt as a compassionate moral person and he was but Blaine had been too close to realize how specific that compassion had been. How had he not seen himself mirrored in Kurt; he was exactly the same with Sam. But no, that was wrong, because Kurt was much braver than him. Not once, had Blaine had the courage to push Sam away for his own good.

Life comes down to a series of moments. It only takes one to change your life, to turn your world upside down.

Without a second thought, Blaine tore down the hallway after Kurt. How long had he been standing there, thinking like an idiot? How long had he been too oblivious to notice the pain he was causing? He just barely caught a glimpse of Kurt's brightly coloured shoulder bag, as he turned the corner. Blaine knew he couldn't catch up so he called out.

"Kurt," Blaine called. "Kurt- I- please stop." But this had quite the opposite reaction. Upon learning that he was being followed, Kurt sped up. Cursing himself and his slow brain for taking so long to clue in, Blaine broke into a job to catch up.

They reached a dead end and Blaine was finally able to catch his breath. Kurt wouldn't turned to face him but there was something in the way Kurt kept checking the doors that made Blaine believe that Kurt was considering using the emergency exit so avoid talking to him.

"What do you want?" Kurt asked, weakly. Blaine could tell he was crying, just from the sound of his voice alone. He still couldn't see Kurt's face.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said to Kurt's back.

"Yeah I know," Kurt sniffed.

"No you don't," Blaine continued. He had no idea how to express the messed up jumble in his head. "Just look at me, please."

Slowly Kurt turned around and then they were gazing into each other's eyes. Blaine could suddenly see with perfect clarity the hurt in Kurt's expression, the affection in those eyes. This man was in love with him. How could Blaine have been so blind?