Stories of the Past

If Only He Knew

Steve's PoV

It's been a week.

It's been a week since we checked. When we couldn't find him. When not even his bones were there.

We can't even have a funeral for him and bury him.

And it's all my fault.

If I had just watched my ass, he would still be here, he wouldn't be dead and his body missing. And I miss him so much.

My baby brother. The person I'm meant to protect, that I would risk my life for, not the other way around. Why did he have to go and be the hero that day? Why did he have to throw himself in front of that arrow?

A knock on my door frame startles me and I look up to see Notch leaning against the wood, a sympathy in his gaze as he looks at me. "How you doing?" He asks gently, stepping into my room and sitting on the bed. I lock eyes with his to see dark circles making his eyes seem hollow as well.

"He's dead, Notch! He's gone and it's all because I'm a dumbass and didn't watch my back! How do you think I'm doing?!" I yell at him, tears pouring from my eyes again. He pulls me into a hug quickly, his breathing shuddering slightly.

"It is not your fault," he whispers.

"Then whose fault is it?"

"No one's fault. Well, it was Brine that made that choice to jump in front of you. You didn't push him in front of you, he made that choice."

"He always did like being the hero."

"Remember how Dad used to call him 'little hero'?"

"Yes. He loved that name so much, would always make him giggle like crazy," I laugh slightly, my eyes still watery.

"Well, I guess he wanted to live up to the name."

"But at what cost?" I breathe out.

Eventually, Notch pulls away, saying he's going to make me eat something.

But Notch has no clue how to cook.

I follow after him, steering him out of the kitchen so I can make something, the familiar action of cooking calming me slightly. Notch sits down on a barstool across from me, burying his head in his hands. "This is so fucked up," he breathes out.

"I know, it really is."

I finish cooking and pass a plate over to him, then take my own and sit beside him. We eat in silence, and I glance over at Notch to see his mind working behind his eyes. Once we're done, he grabs my plate and washes them, sticking them back in the cupboard.

"Steve?"

"Mm?"

"I don't understand, how does his body just disappear? Mobs don't eat bodies and there wouldn't of been any wolves that far below ground. So, where did it go?"

"How would I know?" I respond.

"Just... I was thinking and... what if he survived?"

"What?" I snarl.

"I mean... when I felt his pulse his heart was still beating slightly, but then he stopped breathing and I didn't feel his pulse. Did you?"

"Usually when someone stops breathing it's a good indicator that they're dead," I growl.

"I know but... it's just weird that his body wasn't there."

"If he was alive, he would come and see us, wouldn't he?"