Drunk Beginnings (Rick and Morty Fanfiction)

Chapter 17

Author's Note 

I CANNOT STOP SCREAMING AT YOU GUYS THROUGH MY SMALL AUTHOR'S NOTES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 2.2K I DIDN'T KNOW MY RETARDED STORIES WOULD GET THIS MUCH ATTENTION SKJSKKSJK I'M FREAKING OUT U GUYS DESERVE A FLUFFY CHAPTER SO YOU'LL GET ONE ON THE HOUSE also smol shoutout to RebelNerdAlliance for ur nice comment ily <3

   "You're sick? How did that happen?" I asked to Rick. He crossed his arms as he made his way over to the couch. Morty and I scooched out of his way so he could sit in the middle of us. He did look pretty bad. Dark circles ringed underneath his eyes and he was breathing heavily through his nose, like it was a labor to breath. He looked tense and wired, but exhausted. I wanted to give him a hug. Rick winced and coughed harshly into his elbow. Morty and I shared a look of remorse. 

  "Huh...uuuuuugh." Rick moaned and flopped back on the couch. He had his eyes closed in tiredness. 

  "The coated dart that the *eeugh* little gremlin bastards from the Flora and Fauna breeding planet was a heat tracker they shot into me. After I came down from the high the heat tracker gave my *sneeze* ugh, body, I went into the garage and shot a freezing agent into my neck so the heat tracker could leak out. I have to *sneeze* uuuuugh, I have to keep the agent in my body so the heat tracker can dissolve." Rick explained through a tirade of sneezes. He shivered violently and held his lab coat close. 

   "So how did you get sick?" I asked him. He gave me a sideways glance and sunk deeper on the couch, his back on the seat part of the sofa and his feet were placed on the coffee table. 

   "Well, *eeugh* genius, my body's freezing from this agent, so n-naturally my immune system's gonna be more susceptible to disease and sickness. I've been sneezing and coughing and cold and.." The rest was lost in murmurs as he turned on his side on the couch. 

  "Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked. I saw Rick's body shake from the freezing agent as he was turned away from me. 

   "Here, Rick can have my spot. I'm gonna go...uh, to the last 6 hours of school." Morty announced, and left the couch to go change from his pajamas. As soon as he got up, Rick immediately seized the available space and stretched his whole body out. He was long enough to have his legs stretch over me and sit on the arm rest. I reeled my arms back as Rick's legs ran parallel to my chest. 

   "Uuuuuuuh, that's good." Rick commented. He put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes in content. 

   "So...you're just...sick? No virus from an interdimensional rabid squirrel or something weird like that?" I asked with a hand gesture, and realized I still had a single handcuff on my wrist. I brought it up to my face and dangled it. I brought it back down and huffed. 

    "Not everything has to be interdimensional and galactic, you know. It's just a *sneeze* cold, ugh, literally." Rick's midsection convulsed with it's sneeze. He moaned. It looked pretty serious. The backdoor shut from Morty's leaving. 

   "Do you uh...do you need any medicine, any Tylenol?" I asked. Rick squinted an eye open to look at me with a grimace. 

   "The effects of Tylenol only lasts for four to six hours, and even then, the side effects and chemical reactions it can give you if you're allergic largely outweigh the benefits it can give you, leading to my *sneeze* *sneeze* uuugh, my next point, which is that Tylenol is a fever and pain reducer. I'm not in pain, and I have the opposite of a fever, and it's a reducer, which means that you'll still have pain and a fever, but less of it. So you just wasted seven bucks for a *eeugh* chewable white tablet, and not the fun kind." Rick finished. 

   "Sounds like someone doesn't want any whiskey to warm them up." I said getting up from the couch. I saw Rick's eyes fly open at the threat. 

   "No no, I want whiskey!" Rick pleaded, like a kid asking for candy. I left for the kitchen, and Rick peered over the couch with his hands curled over the top of the cushions.