A Good Day For Love To Die

Chapter 18

I’m 20 now, a bit of two years on and I’m living in a quaint apartment. Well, it was Aunt Rhi’s until she got married to a Greek guy a couple months back and she decided to give me her apartment. Yeah, finally my aunt got married! Yes, that would mean that Siva lives above me, still. But, no, I haven’t seen him or Nareesha since that night I walked out on the lads.

How do I do that? Simple, I either stay cocoon at my office (yes, I’m working now) or hang around with mates into late night when I know that they’re in town. But mostly, they’re not in town and it made things easier. A whole lot easier. But I can’t run away from them much since they smashed radio stations with hits after hits, all glam up in magazines and well, they’re all over UK. Still, thankful that I’ve been lucky to have not bumped or seen them around. Yay me.

But I should have known that lucks do run out and I’d be bound to bump into one of them. My heart had ever since desired to see Nathan again no matter how I bluntly try to deny it. However, that afternoon, as I was cooking myself some pasta from lunch, I heard a knock at the door.

I looked through the peephole and saw Siva and Nathan standing right outside, Siva gently knocking the door. I stood rigid behind the door, trying not to make any noise.

“Mate, this is the… I don’t know, thousandth time we tried since we got back to London this week. She’s not at home,” I heard Siva say sympathetically to Nathan.

“I don’t know… reckon she is. Just doesn’t want to open the door,” Oh trust Nathan to know how I like to do things.

“Doubt she’s ready to talk to any of us,” Siva said again, still gently rapping my door.

“She messaged Max two weeks ago, mate,” Nathan mumbled.

“That was a congratulatory message for him and Michelle. After Max replied, she didn’t reply,” Siva stated. “Let’s just go, you leave her a message then,” he continued.

“Maybe I should,” Nathan muttered as he bent down for a bit, as if tying his shoelaces. Then, both of them disappeared from view.

I took a step back and let go of the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My gaze averted to something lying on the floor, though. Oh, Nathan didn’t bend down to tie his shoelaces; he was slipping something under the door.

I bent down and retrieve it, apparently a note from him.

“I know you’re inside and not ready to talk to me. But I want to see you, Erny. I need to see you. I’m sorry for what Tom did, I really am. You don’t deserve whatever he did to you. If you will, meet me at Starbucks, down the road, at 3pm today. Lo …since … Just, Nathan”

I couldn’t help but smile at the way he ended the note. Typical Nathan. But the content of the note opened old wounds, made them feel raw and unhealed. To be honest, I forgave what Tom did and tried my best to forget that night. I was no saint of a girlfriend, myself. I was after all, having butterflies when his band mate spoke to me. As much as I could, after the separation, I only reaped and kept the good memories of Tom. My heart couldn’t bear the bad ones.

I went back to the kitchen to finish off the pasta I was cooking, letting the clock tick by and contemplating whether or not I should go and meet Nathan in just about under two hours. The thought of it was already bringing the zoo inside my stomach, evaporating all appetite I had just minutes ago.

At 2.30pm, I was fussing with how I should tie my hair and if the tee and jeans I picked was acceptable enough to meet him. So, yes, I’ve decided to meet him because well, I needed peace in my head. So, down the road I went to the Starbucks.

When I reached, it was a little past 3 and I didn’t see him anywhere, just a whole crowd of girls.

“Surely he would wait a little more than 5 minutes,” I muttered to myself, almost feeling angry with myself for not getting ready earlier.

“Erny? Hey Erny! Over here!” a familiar voice shouted across the café.

Ah, should have known, they are after all the hottest british-irish boy band right now. They were the ones who were surrounded by the crowd of giggly girls. I went over, squeezing past a couple of girls who just stared at me at how I knew Jay.

“Jay, what are you doing here? I’m suppose to meet Nath, is he here?” I asked, curious.

“Right behind ya,” that Gloucester accent I’ve missed so much.

I whipped around to see him signing one of the girl’s CD and proceeded with taking a photo with here. He mouthed “sorry, one minute” and so I turned back to Jay, only to find out he was also doing whatever Nathan was doing. I faded into the shadows and took a seat at the back of the café.

“So sorry, didn’t expect a crowd,” Nathan smiled apologetically as he joined me about 15 minutes later. “Don’t mind Jay being here, he wants to meet you,” he continued.

I shrugged my shoulders, suddenly my throat parched and not knowing what to say to my ex boyfriend’s band mates. Total and uncomfortable silence greeted us as our eyes exchanged awkward glances.

“This is… awkward,” I mumbled, finally.

“That’s what she said,” Jay blurted out with raised eyebrows and then surprisingly, all three of us burst out laughing.

Tension lifted.

“So what is it?” I asked after we caught our breaths.

“I don’t know… Just wanted to see if you’re doing fine and well, umm, you after all live below Siva but we don’t see you often and … yeah,” Nathan started rambling.

I cocked an eyebrow.

“What he means is that we’ve missed you and we’ve wanted to see you since whatever happened that night. We don’t want to bring bad memories but all of us miss you and it’ll be nice if we can all meet up. Nathan & I are meeting up with you today to see if you’re receptive to see us again,” Jay explained, in a gentle but matter-of-fact tone.

“If you’re asking if I’ve forgiven Tom, yes I have but I’m not ready to see him. Tell the rest I’ve missed them too but I don’t know. Now that you’re all so massive with chart toppers and breaking America, seems like you’re doing fine,” I stated, my voice almost deadpanned.

I didn’t want to be cold to these two boys I’ve loved so much but reacquainting myself with them would bring Tom into the picture, sooner or later. After a moment of silence, I grabbed my purse and stood up to leave.

“There is nothing more to discuss, is there?” I said, still deadpanned.

Jay and Nathan exchanged looks of desperation as if wanting to say something, anything to have this meet up not end up the way it was. I looked at them and gave a curt nod before pushing back my chair. As I was about to walk away, I heard Nathan clear his throat.

“I’m not losing you for the second time,” he said quietly, loud enough for me and Jay to hear.