Still Not Over You. [5sos fan fic]

34. Distraction

I knew that if I were to talk to Zayn it wasn't gonna go as a friend type of thing I knew it was gonna be more than that.

And so that night when I got home from the welcome party we talked for hours.

The weeks went on and he really liked me like...liked me liked me and he treated me nicely and all, but still wasn't enough for me

After a while of talking to him I felt like I couldn't be myself.

I had to worry about how I looked and just the opposite of when I was talking to Ashton.

But I brushed it all off and thought he was good for me.

.....

"Why do you always wear that flannel?"
-Zayn

"Cause I like it"
-Aria

"You look like a lumberjack"
-Zayn

It was all funny at the time up until he would send me pictures of a lumberjack who looked ugly as hell and would compare me to them

I stopped wearing my flannel cause I wasn't confident in it, maybe everyone else thought I'd looked like a ugly lumberjack

If I would wear it then I wouldn't tell him or send him pictures unless I took it off so he wouldn't joke about me wearing my flannel.

By the time I admitted to myself that he was bad to have around and all that I used him as a distraction which is a horrible thing to do, but I knew he would do the same

He didn't really like me it was all fake so we had something going on, but nothing serious cause I didn't want anything serious with him.

*flashback*

"No yeah everyone told me you were a bitch"
-Zayn

I felt hurt when he told me that knowing that 'everyone' meant Abigail and Delilah...this was a constant thing of him telling me what 'everyone' would tell him about me

He didn't care that what he was saying was hurting me cause the next day would come, and he would say some bullshit about "wow you look good today" "I like you" "I'm glad I met you" so then the next day he could say the opposite.

But there was also something about him that got me to stay.

I needed a distraction from Ashton so why not him.

Yes at some point I did kinda like Zayn, but when I started to realize what type of guy he truly was I stopped, but I missed Ashton and if I were to leave Zayn I wouldn't have anyone else to distract me from Ashton.

*end of flashback*

Yes there's Elizabeth, but she has a boyfriend now, I don't like him so I don't like being around and she's apparently in love with him so our friendship went down the drain again :/