In Between [Crankiplier]

14. Imagine

I've known this gorgeous sweet guy for a little over a month and he's like the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've never met someone nearly as amazing as he is. He's basically.. perfect.

He has silky brown hair that flops onto his face. Little bits of scruff on his jawline. Tan skin and unique eyebrows. Soft kissable lips. Beautiful brownie eyes that easily show his emotions. And adorable little glasses that fit his face perfectly.

He's a bit on the shorter side. A great taste in clothes. Gigantic muscles shown clearly in everything he wears. Smooth and strong hands. And a warm, inviting, cuddle-able body.

He has a big heart. He's sweet, caring, and understanding. He's there for everyone no matter what. He has a strong armor that reflects anything bad that happens to him, so he doesn't really get hurt. But the armor can easily be brought down, and he can be real with you. 

He's quirky and adorable. Smart yet able to understand. Hilarious and fun to be around. He's everything I want in a person.

I can't help but imagine what it would be like if Mark and I dated. If we took it to the next level. But I will only ever dream. Because I know, deep down, that I will somehow fuck everything up, and the amazing thing we have will be shattered into pieces.

I look down at his beautiful everything. His arm is still around me so my face feels like fire. He doesn't snore, but sometime he does cute little snorts that make me cry laughing. It's like he was born to make people laugh. His hair is ruffled and his shirt is a bit messed up. I carefully make it go back to its regular floofiness and stare down at his shirt. I dare to lift up his shirt slightly. Seconds later I'm practically drooling at his toned body. I bite my lip as I see a bit of his v-line showing.

God. What about Mark isn't perfect?

Mark POV

I've known this adorable caring person for a little over a month but it feels like we've been close for years. I've never met someone who's made me as happy as Ethan has. They're basically.. perfect.

They have fluffy blue hair that sits perfectly on their cheek. Bits of acne all over their face. Pale skin and bark brown eyebrows. Sweet thin lips. Mesmerizing ocean eyes that sparkle every time I see them. And adorable little lines next to their eyes from smiling so much.

They're a bit on the shorter side. They don't really care about fashion, which I've always admired. No visible muscles but clear upper body strength. Rough and sexy hands. And a cold, tiny, huggable body.

They have a broken heart. But they're kind, empathetic, and loving. They're there for you no matter what. They have a protective front but they are very fragile inside. The front is hard to break down, but with me it practically disappears.

They're quirky and adorable. Smart yet able to understand. Hilarious and fun to be around. They're everything I want in a person.

I can't help but imagine what it would be like if Ethan and I dated. If we took it to the next level. But I will only ever dream. Because I know, deep down, that I will somehow fuck everything up, and the amazing thing we have will be shattered into pieces.

I wake up to my shirt being lifted up. I knew Ethan was there so I didn't open my eyes. Their breathing hitched and it was so hard to not laugh. I "awoke" and grabbed their thigh flirtatiously and immediately regretted it. I just did exactly what I didn't want to do. I fucked everything up. I took a step too far and now they hate me.

"Mark," Ethan whispers. "I-"

They envelop me in a strong hug. I'm confused, but I hug back with the same emotions. Pain, attraction, desire, fiery burning passion that can't be expressed with words.

I take them out of the hidden room, back upstairs. Then in the bathroom attached to my bedroom, all while carrying them. "Here, take a shower and freshen up a bit. I don't think you want to smell like weed when you get home, especially when we get back to school."

"Yeah..." Ethan replies shyly.

"Well I'll be here when you get out." I say. They nod, but they're hesitant. Almost like they want me to stay. But I know I shouldn't. So I close the door, sit on my bed, and listen to the soft sounds of water spritzing out of the shower head and the little hums of Ethan's beautiful voice.

Ethan POV

I can't. I can't take it to the next step. I can't be near him. I can't love him. Because I know I'm going to leave and he's going to be broken. That's what happened with grandma right..? She left and everyone was left broken? I can't do that to him.

Black is in the water again. Of fucking course. Where is it coming from this time? I feel around my body. Hm. Ears.

I'm thinking it's pancreatic cancer. That's what Nana had. Then again what does it matter. I'll just be dead anyways.

It's funny how I don't even care. I've just accepted I'm going to die and that's it. Everyone will be better off anyways.

Especially Mark..