Time Is The Key To Everything

Chapter 29: Farewells

In the months following his return home, Paul began to entertain the thought of moving. Not the whole household, whose inhabitants were now more noisy and irritating than ever, but just himself.

When he had lived alone, a so called bachelor—leaving the ruins of his so called home to spend the little money he had left on the small but lavish house that he had immediately been charmed by—it had been a quiet existence. Although, sometimes too quiet. Then he had met Ama, who had brought into the silent house laughter and life. She had given Paul her first experience of what a real family might be like: loud, annoying, and nosy but most of all, lovable. He had tried to keep his distance, tried to make himself cold and unfeeling towards them, but before he knew it, it had been too late. Even for Mav and Faizan, the affection was there, though very well guarded.

What he had felt for Ama had been a mixture of gratitude and a fierce infatuation in the most inexperienced form. He had never dealt with that type of love, which made him feel both clumsy and weightless, and thus resolved to bury it beneath the grief and bitterness that he still carried so heavily on his shoulders. Him and Ama. It would always be a 'what could have been'. And that was all.

But fate was a tricky mistress and before he his heart had barely recovered, in came Cassidy. The night that they had met she had been so innocently honest that his first response had been to lash out. But she could not be rebuffed. Thinking back, he sometimes believes that it was the way she had snapped at him during their first meeting, the way she had stood up to him when so many others had backed down, that had enchanted him. She had eased her way into his life, into his heart and he had fallen so hard, so fast, that he hadn't even known he was in love with her until the day he had left to go back to the war. Their parting had been more painful than a body riddled with bullets or the feelings of your legs being blown to pieces by a rouge grenade.

But their reunion had been sweeter than he could have ever imagined. He still flushed whenever he remembered it. Unfortunately, once they had moved apart that day, the perfect opportunity to tell Cassidy how he felt had been thoroughly ruined by Mav—who had come marching into the music room, furious that they would be having more guests. He had had courtesy to grumble out a greeting to Paul before announcing that if the new living conditions affected the dinner menu in any way, he would move out.

At that moment, Faizan had come bounding in the music room, but in his excitement to see Paul, he had tripped over the carpet and had gone sprawling into Gelo's lap. The result had been an outburst by Mav. After multiple accusations of rape and sexual molestation, Ama had finally been able to calm him down with promises of pasta and tomatoes.

However, since then, Paul had not had a chance to have a private conversation with Cassidy. When she wasn't with Paul, she was with James. If either of them were out, she was with the twins or Ama or arranging the guest rooms or in town. Paul was very busy himself. Now that the war was over, there was suddenly an increasing demand for pianists. People wanted to enjoy life again and forget the horrors of the past six years. He had offers from various neighboring cities and accepted them only because maintaining a household of seven people required a great deal of money.

The result was that he and Cassidy rarely saw each other except during breakfast or dinner on the days he was home. But as the days and weeks passed, Paul began to have doubts about her feelings. She was somewhat wary in his presence, almost shy and he couldn't help feel a twinge of jealousy when he saw her laughing with her cousins or Ama. It was during times like that that Paul most considered moving out. But in the end, he never did, and never would because he knew he couldn't leave any of them. Except perhaps James.

Paul collapsed into the chair behind his desk. The clock beside him read half past midnight and the whole household was asleep. He had only just arrived back from Munich, having decided to endure the evening train instead of waiting until the morning. The city was still heavily damaged, but little by little, it was being rebuilt. There was even talk of opening a dance hall. With his popularity growing more than he would have liked, Paul had been invited to hear about the plans for development. The whole trip had been dull, long, and fully exhausting. He had been gone for a total of two weeks and was glad to be under his own roof once more. Of course, he was sure by tomorrow—when James was bothering him during breakfast, which usually resulted in Cassidy delivering swift justice on her cousin with a frying pan—he would once more start imagining himself packing his bags and closing the door behind him.