The Diary Of An Emotional Teenaged Girl (AKA Me)

I Am My Own Ghost Town

Things...are going pretty well...and I've seemed to recover from my little spill of depression, which I'm thankful for, but it's not completely dissipated yet which is annoying. I think it's still the whole I have no guys in my life right now kind of thing, but there's new things in the mixture to make it all kinda suck a little more.

Yeah, I really really love my new school. I love how I got to turn a new leaf and surround myself with a whole new group of people. However, my plan wasn't ever to ditch my old home school friends like I guess they thought of when I left. I feel so lonely when I wait at my home school for the second bus to come to take me to my new school. I shouldn't feel lonely, as I have lots of my guy friends that wave at me and smile which is comforting. My best friend also greets me, and is quite frankly the only person that talks to me now. Every single other friend of mine, including the ones who were my best friends for four years running now, completely ignored me. They glanced at me and then looked away and carried on whatever conversation they were having as if I got to see them all the time. It hurt. None of them asked how I was or said hey or anything. Not even a smile. It hurt. I will keep saying it because it really hurt. It hurts to know that the people that made such an effort to stay close to me before I left made the least effort to keep in touch when I did leave. They knew I was going to leave to another school, and they were understanding because the classes there would help me follow my biggest dreams. But now, it's like I'm a ghost and no one even notices when I'm there.

"You're overreacting Amanda"

"They probably were just tired Amanda"

I'm sorry, but you're both wrong. It's not like this has only happened today. It's just been one of the worst today. Normally they'll at least say hey or hi, but I don't get any of that much anymore. Only one or two of them will say it, including my best friend whom I appreciate so much. It just sucks. I've lost so many friends in my life and I thought that these were finally my "Forever Friends", but it turns out I was wrong. I only have one forever friend now. And it hurts.

Well now that that depression stuff is out of the way, I took the SAT this weekend, and that sucked. The stress levels were to the max, and I had never felt so rushed in my life. I think I did miserably, but I guess we won't know until I get my scores back. The only thing I liked about going to take the SAT was that when I left I found a five dollar bill on the ground. It was crazy that it was five dollars and not like a penny or something small, so I looked around to make sure no one was recording me to include me in one of those gold digger kind of instagram videos that no one double taps on that are on the explore page. I didn't see anyone and I realized if I didn't take it, that I would have five less dollars, so I took it. It's not stealing is it? Too late now if it is, and besides I looked around so it's not like I could've given it back to its owner, and someone else would have taken it, so maybe I'll donate it so I don't feel bad now. I'll donate it toward getting myself a car. :J