The Diary Of An Emotional Teenaged Girl (AKA Me)

Story Time Pt.1

I got myself a new whip!

Although everyone in my culinary class, including myself, was in a pretty nasty mood today, it started and ended well which is what I needed.

I've got quite a lot of stories to tell this time, so stay tuned. ;)

First, my car. I didn't necessarily get myself a new car because I can't afford one yet, but my mom got me a car. She's a 1999 Chevy Lumina and she's the total package except for the fact that I'll never be able to charge my phone in there or use the aux, but hey, we've all got our flaws. Her name's Ezmerelda based off the fact that she's an emerald green color. She's even got a sunroof and it's nice. Not too shabby for my first car. And I can drive it on my own in a mere 12 days! 

Second, I got my foot stuck in a box today. I know it sounds really stupid but just follow me here. So a group of us, the culinary kids, got sent out to break down boxes. We sometimes have to smash them to get them to break apart easier so that's what I was doing basically. I, being the idiot I was, broke down a box with each foot. It was all fine and dandy until a few seconds later when I realized I couldn't move my foot and that the cardboard was digging into my ankle. Sheer panic broke out and I dropped myself to the ground because I couldn't go anywhere else. I was laying on the ground with two cardboard boxes stuck to my feet and I looked like the biggest idiot. My friend came over to help me pry the boxes off my feet thankfully but even then it almost didn't release itself from my ankle. I'm okay now though so that's all that matters I guess. 

Third, my ex broke up with his new girlfriend of like three weeks because he still wasn't over me. I know it's conceded to say "I knew that would happen" but once I explain, you all will know exactly what I mean. 

So as you all know I had a boyfriend. I dated him for about four months and then I broke up with him because he was unwilling to do things I liked and he didn't change to help make the relationship work. I understand you're not supposed to make someone change, but both parties have to change and sacrifice a little if they want a relationship to work out. He hated everything that I enjoyed and wouldn't let me watch my shows with him when I was over with him because he didn't like them. He didn't like my music and therefore we never got to listen to my music. He didn't like my movies so we only watched Star Wars, my least favorite movies on the planet. He thought he could compromise by putting on cooking channels but just because I want to be a chef doesn't mean that I want to watch 37 hours of a cooking competition. I couldn't care less about what dishes they make in an hour. I told him to pick out a new show for both of us to watch because of his pickiness and he goes to a different cooking channel and I was annoyed. That wasn't why I broke up with him, this was basically just a mini rant. Sorry :)

My point of that rant though was that we just didn't have anything in common. Like absolutely nothing in common. None of our morals, views, hobbies, aspirations, social skills, or anything was in common. And that wasn't even the only reason either. He was too clingy for me. I understand that I'm supposed to want to hang out with him for forever, but I'm sorry, I can't do three days a week for twelve hours at a time. I still have my own life and I'm not giving up my whole life for a guy I had only dated for a total of four months. He never gave me a chance to miss him. I couldn't even make it home from his place, which is a fifteen minute drive, without him texting me. It never ended. And our conversations turned into what felt like interviews. Asking what I was eating every meal, what I was doing and where and for how long, and what I would be doing the next day, it just was too much for me. So yeah, it got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore. And I tried to mold him into a more appealing person to me, but I just never felt attracted to him. I even swerved when he tried to kiss me. I didn't want it to be him. It just wasn't right and I didn't want to date anymore. He really got hooked on to me though and he wanted me to do all of these personal things with him and I told him I didn't want to but I didn't tell him it was because I didn't want it to hurt so bad for him like I knew it would whenever I would end it. I knew before I first told him I'd go out with him that it wouldn't last but I tried. I wanted it to work of course, but I knew it wouldn't. We just weren't similar. He kept saying "opposites attract" and that made me think more about how much I didn't like how he said that. They don't in any place other than science, and I'm not an experiment. When I went to break up with him, he started sobbing like I knew he would. He knew what was happening and if he didn't, he must've been more naive than I thought. Not exactly a good thing. I was super nice about it and I thought long and hard about how I was going to break the news. I was going to be straight up and tell him everything that made me want to hate him and how mad and annoyed he made me feel and how wrong I felt to be dating him, but then I realized that as "the man of the relationship", I needed to break it to him more gently so that it wouldn't hurt him as much as I knew it would. He tried to pull the whole "guys don't cry unless they're weak babies" act but I never believed it for a second. Everybody cries, it's human. So when he cried I wanted to just laugh and say "I told you so" but I didn't because I was more decent of a person that day than I normally was. He kept trying to insist he could fix it and that he didn't want it to end, but he wasn't getting that I didn't like him, and it took everything in me to not insult him in anyway. I put it all on me and I mean all of it. I made up excuses saying I didn't want to see anyone and that it was all me and not him and that we just weren't a good match and that he needed someone more in common with him. It was hard. Not in the sad way that a breakup generally is, but in an annoyed "ok can this be over with now" kind of thing. 

Thinking it was all in the clear and that the suffering for everyone would end finally, I was relieved. But then, he became obsessed. When we dated he'd say all the time, "I can't believe you're in band, I hated it, it sucked" and all this nasty stuff, and then two weeks after I broke up with him, he showed up saying he wanted to get back into it because he missed it. Biggest bullshit I've ever heard. Might sound like I want to think he was obsessed but wait, there's more. Throughout the whole dating/breakup thing, I made it clear who my best friend was and that I told her everything, but then he goes and thinks he can use my best friend as a therapist about me and his problem with getting over me without me hearing anything about it. Even after we broke up he kept using her, and telling her everything so I heard all about it. I was so annoyed and frustrated that he wouldn't leave her alone and I wish I had said something to him about it. He's stopped now finally about three months or so after we broke up, so my best friend is finally at peace at least I hope.