Teach Me

Its Raining Condoms

a/n: aghshh i feel like this story is so disjointed and has no real sense of fluidity,, nevertheless! a new chapter

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Charlie asked, voice crackling over the phone.
"Why wouldn't it be a good idea? You know how I feel about him," Cas was catching up with his red-headed friend, they hadn't spoken much since Cas started spending all his free time with Dean. He was standing in the middle of his dorm room, absently walking back and forth between the beds and holding his phone to his ear. It was weird being back here after so long staying at Dean's place, but it was becoming difficult to be there all the time without someone noticing.
"I do know how you feel about him, that's why I think it's a bad idea!"
"Oh so you DO think it's a bad idea then, and you were just pretending to be concerned?" Castiel snarled somewhat haughtily. He didn't know when Charlie started thinking that she had a right to tell him what to do but he certainly wasn't okay with it.
Charlie sighed peevishly into the receiver, "I'm not pretending to be concerned! I am concerned! He's a professor and you're a student, do you NOT see a problem here?!"
"Charlie I love him, he loves me. There's no harm in going away together for a few days--"
"Oh my god," she interrupted sounding supremely done with him.
"Look I didn't come here for YOUR approval Charlie," he spat, starting to lose his temper. "I called you because we haven't talked in a while and I wanted to see how you were doing because I actually care-"
"You think I don't care?!" She cried. "I do care! I care a lot and you are making a colossal, irreparable mistake!"
"Why can't you just accept that this is what makes me happy!? He makes me happy Charl, I'm happier than I have been in months and months."
"This isn't a healthy relationship, he has too much power over you, the dynamic you two have can't be good, it just can't!" Charlie retorted. "You're going to regret this! You are GOING to regret making this decision, you're already in WAY over your head and going away with him will just make it wor--"
"What are you, my fucking mother?!" Castiel finally shrieked and hung up, throwing his phone to the ground. Suddenly the door opened, Gabriel had chosen this moment to come back.

"Am I interrupting something? I could hear you yelling halfway across the freaking campus," he came into the room carrying a large brown-paper bag in his arms. He toed the door shut behind him.
Castiel growled, still feeling angry. "Oh nothing, just a phone call with an obnoxious redhead who thinks she can make my choices for me."
"Ah," Gabe replied, Castiel had told him  all about the tensions between the two friends. "Gotta watch out for those lesbians, they can be very dangerous."
Castiel gave him a weird look, but as usual, Gabe afforded no explanation to his strange comment. He walked over and set the brown-paper bag down on his bed.
"What's in the bag?" Castiel asked.
"Groceries."
"Groceries? But we don't even have a kitchen in here."
"Okay you caught me," Gabriel said holding up his hands in mock-surrender. He sat down beside the bag and pulled it onto his lap. "Not groceries, but just as necessary as food my dear friend."
"What then?" Castiel asked, sitting on the opposing bed.
"Condoms!" Gabriel smiled gleefully, pulling out a bright purple box with a flourish.
"Oh god, sorry I asked," Castiel said getting up to leave. He had an art teacher he needed to go talk to.
"No no no no, wait a minute loverboy," Gabriel grabbed his wrist on the way by and pulled him down next to him. "You're going away with Dean tomorrow, you are going to need these!"
Castiel laughed nervously, "I'm sure I can buy my own - er - condoms if i happen to have need for them..." his face was bright red and he knew it. He could feel it.
"So what? I saved you the trouble," he shoved a box into Cas's hands. "I'm just trying to help out a fellow American! Don't deprive me of doing my civic duty!"
"Gabriel..." Cas said embarrassed.
"What you don't like this kind? Well that's no problem because I, Gabriel, always come prepared!" He then proceeded to grab the paper bag and upend the contents all over the bed. At least twenty boxes of different brands, varieties and versions of condoms spilled out onto the duvet, some tumbled onto the floor and Cas noticed that there were even several brightly coloured bottles of lube amid the chaos.
Castiel gawped, he had no idea what to say. This was completely and utterly ridiculous.
"Sammy told me that you two cool cats haven't banged yet so I'm just trying to get the wheels moving! You really are missing out, you know that?"
Cas's mouth was still hanging open. "How much did this even COST?" was all he could manage to ask.
"Oh don't worry about that! I know a guy," Gabe tapped the side of his nose before scrambling up to stand on the bed. He seized a shiny silver box and several other ones with bold writing, "Look we've got ones with ridges, ones without!" he threw them around as he talked. "There's rainbow ones, cherry flavoured! Oh look there's even this one which is supposed to be like icy hot," he threw them all down and grabbed another. "Aha! And my personal favourite, glow in the dark! Verreee good for some Star Wars role play. Light-sabres if you know what I mean."
At this point, Cas was so shocked he wasn't sure whether to burst out laughing or simply walk out. "I-I really don't think that we'll be needing this many if we do, need um, any."
But Gabriel wasn't really listening, he was jumping on the bed and yelling random condom related slogans. "Don't be silly, wrap up your willy! DON'T BE A FOOL, COVER YOUR TOOL!" It was clear he thought that the entire thing was hilarious. He'd opened one of the boxes marked "extra lube" and was proceeding to rip open one of the tiny packets. When he got it open he pulled apart the rubber inside and stretched it out to full length, like an elastic band. Abruptly Sam opened the door and came into the room. "What the fu-" he started but then -
SNAP!
The condom slipped in Gabe's hands and propelled itself across the room, landing on one very tall, long haired man's angular face.
Absolute silence.
A beat.
Sam reached up and peeled it disgustedly off his face.
Castiel lost it then, his giggles tumbling out. Gabriel collapsed onto the bed, shrieking with laughter.
"Your face! You should've seen your face-"
"Priceless!"
"Wish I had a video--"
"Stop it we've had three noise complains this week alone!"
"Oh my GOD!"
They could barely breathe.
It was ten minutes before they all calmed down enough to actually speak to one another.

"No really guys," Sam said, wiping away an errant tear. "What is with all the rubbers?" He gestured vaguely to the chaos around them from his place on the floor beside Gabe's bed.
"Gabriel was just trying to make sure that I get laid on my trip with Dean," Cas explained, no longer embarrassed or annoyed about it.
"Oh, and to do that he had to go out and buy the entire drug store out of its condom stock?" Sam smirked.
"Apparently so," Castiel grinned back.
"Hey, I didn't completely sell them out! I only took what was on the shelves," Gabriel retorted.
Sam and Castiel shared a look.
"And plus, even if Cas doesn't get his dick wet, I'll still count the trip as a win."
Sam looked up at his boyfriend. "Why is that?"
"Because either way I won't have to look at Cas's dumb little face for three or four days."
They all laughed at that too, and with boxes of condoms everywhere, no one noticed when Castiel slipped a couple of so-called "necessities" into his already packed duffle bag.

a/n: p.s you guys are so quiet! i miss hearing from you