Teach Me

Tripping Down Memory Lane

a/n: trigger warning: brief descriptions of an abusive relationship

Castiel didn't hear the car horns as he stumbled across the road, he didn't hear the angry people shouting or the tires squealing on pavement. He was lost, he was lost even before he stepped out of Dean's house, he was lost metaphorically and literally now. Cas didn't know what road he was on, he didn't know what part of town, he wasn't even sure how much time had passed. The light was fading around him and streetlights were coming on but just as with his skinned knees, Cas wasn't aware. His head was spinning, he was thinking about his goddamn ex again and all the things he did. He could feel himself slipping into that place again. Slipping into a waking nightmare.

Nine Months Earlier

"Castiel you better hurry the fuck up," Riley was shouting from the next room and Cas winced at the sound of it. He could feel Riley's rage building and he wondered if he was going to get out of tonight without getting hit.
"Coming sweetheart!" Castiel called, his voice sounding plastic and false. He tried to find his other shoe as he ran around Riley's dump of a house. There were beer cans on the floor and the couch cushions were in the wrong places. Dirty clothes were strewn about like the whole place was a laundromat. "CASTIEL!" Riley demanded.
"Just trying to find my other shoe babe!" Castiel replied, feeling the fear building in his gut. If he couldn't find the shoe quick enough then Riley would get tired of waiting and get angry, if he couldn't find his shoe then he'd have to ask to borrow a pair and that would also make Riley angry. Sweat beaded on Cas's forehead, his hands shaking as he frantically searched among the mess. Panic started to crawl up his throat like a monster emerging from slumber.
"We're going to be late," Riley hissed, suddenly close. Castiel jolted upright, cold fear coating his insides.
"I'm- I'm sorry, I-I-I just can't find it," Cas's hands shook and his knees felt weak.
Riley glared at him, his watery hazel eyes staring down like he was looking at something stuck to the bottom of his shoe, much less his boyfriend. "Listen to that stutter," he taunted, grabbing Cas's chin and angling it up so that he could stare into his eyes.
Castiel whimpered involuntarily, trying to look anywhere but at Riley.
"I hope you know how pathetic you are," he seethed, voice quiet and dangerous.
Castiel nodded fearfully, closing his eyes so he didn't have to look directly at his boyfriend because when he did the fear was so overwhelming that he could barely breathe.
"I want you to say it," Riley whispered.
Castiel tried to stop his lower lip from quivering, Riley's hand was still holding his face firmly in place. "Say it," he snapped.
"I am pathetic," Castiel said quietly, his voice full of shame, scaring himself with how much he truly believed it.
Riley smiled devilishly and let him go. He feigned that he was about to move away before raising his hand abruptly in the air like he was poising for a slap.
Cas's voice came out wrecked and strangled when he called out "no", shielding his hands up above his head. Riley laughed and dropped his raised hand. "What a wreck," he mumbled as he turned away and moved toward an upside-down pillow near the doorway which he promptly flicked up revealing Cas's missing shoe. He picked it up and threw it at Castiel. "Lets go."

Present

There were two forms looming over Cas but the figures were backlit so he couldn't make out their faces. Their hands were reaching towards him. Castiel, who was vaguely aware that he'd fallen to the ground at some point, screamed and kicked his legs.
"Jesus!" The shorter one yelled in surprise. "I think he's having a fit!"
"Cut it out, we need to get him home," said the taller, as he calmly advanced on Cas.
Panic was racing down his arms and legs. Home?! He could not go home! Home was where Riley was, home was that shitty part of town where no one came on purpose. He could not go back, he'd worked too hard to get here. But wait? Where was here? Castiel's mind was racing and jumping from conclusion to conclusion too fast for him to catch up. The large hands of the man were reaching out towards him, he tried to squirm away but his back hit a wall. He was trapped.
"Dude maybe he needs to go to a hospital or something," the shorter one's outline scratched the back of his neck.
"We just need to get him back. Come on help me," the taller said.
"Leave me alone!" Cas shrieked.
"Sam I don't think he knows it's us," said the shorter person.
"What are you - oh," realization dawned on the "Sam" person. "Castiel it's us, Sam and Gabe!"
Castiel didn't know anyone by those names. He pressed himself back against the cold wall.
"What's wrong with him?!" Gabe said loudly in frustration.
"Shut up," Sam said. He stopped coming towards Cas and dropped down to a crouch. "Castiel," he said calmly.
Cas kept his eyes firmly shut.
Sam placed his hand gently on Cas's knee. "Listen to me, your name is Castiel Novak, you are attending Sedgerock University as an art student, your two best friends are Sam and Gabriel. I am Sam and I am here to help you. Do you understand?"
Castiel's eyes fluttered, a breath he didn't know he'd been holding rushed out of his lungs in a gust. He shakily breathed in and looked up, relief flooding his synapses. "Sam?"
A car passed on the road, its headlights briefly illuminating Sam's green eyes and prominent cheekbones. They were in an alleyway and Cas was with his friends.
"Yeah it's me," he replied in a voice awash with gentle ease. He held out his hand to Cas and this time he didn't shy away. Castiel pressed his cold clammy hand into Sam's and the taller man helped him to his feet. "Can you walk?"
"I think so," Castiel said, his voice shaky but when Sam let go of his hand he stumbled.
"Easy there," Gabe grunted as he pushed Cas back up. "Samantha," he snapped his fingers.
Sam gave Gabriel a look before scooping Castiel into his arms and carrying him across the street to a shitty brown car that rattled as it sat on idle. Gabriel opened the back door for Sam as he gently put Cas inside. When all his appendages were inside the vehicle, Gabe closed the door with a slam. Castiel watched them through slanted eyes out of the window. Their voices were muffled.
"Hold on we're going home," Gabriel sang in a terribly off-key voice.
Sam punched him in the bicep.
"Hey!" Gabriel smirked, the punch obviously hadn't been enough to hurt.
Sam smiled at him but the grin quickly faded. "You know this isn't a joke right?"
"Sam," Gabe said in a serious tone. "I do know where to draw the line."
"Oh really?" Sam gave him a look.
"Mostly," Gabe shrugged.
"Right well take it easy on Cas for the next few days. No jokes about mental patients or insanity."
"Aw come on, but I had a whole gig lined up for that," Gabriel complained.
"Don't," Sam said sternly. "Or you'll have me to answer to."
"Oooh," Gabriel put a finger on Sam's broad chest. "Dominating. I like it."
Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm serious."
"I know," Gabe smiled before standing on his tip-toes and kissing Sam on the mouth. Sam leaned into the kiss, scooping Gabriel into his arms before stopping himself. He pushed him off.
"Don't test me,"
Gabe smirked.
"Look, this is serious. Dean wouldn't have called if it wasn't."
Gabriel pursed his lips and frowned, crossing his arms. "I still can't believe my very own roommate is getting jiggy wit' the hottest professor in the whole school."
"Hey!" Sam scolded. "That's my brother you're talking about!"
"Good genetics," Gabriel teased.
Sam took a step back from Gabriel. When he spoke it was in an angry tone: "Seriously stop it."
Gabe pouted.
"This is not a joke okay! Cas is in really bad shape."
"I know that Sam," Gabriel sounded scorned.
"Well then!"
"I'll behave myself," Gabriel rolled his eyes like it was going to be the hardest task he'd ever attempted.
"You better," Sam said simply before opening the drivers side door and getting inside.
Castiel pretended to be asleep, but he heard Gabriel as he walked to his own side of the car.
"Castiel and THE fucking Winchester..."