Teach Me

The Sky is Falling

a/n: thank you for 9k!!! only last chapter i was saying thanks for 8k! this is amazing????

Castiel was running full speed, his hair whipping back from his face, the wind howling in his ears and his breaths coming jagged and uneven. Now outside of the charged atmosphere of the dean's office, the reality of the situation had hit him full force. He was expelled, and everything he'd worked so hard to achieve didn't mean shit. Dean had definitely lost his job and now, he realized with an icy pang in his gut, he wouldn't be able to afford his house or make his payments... The bank would reclaim everything except for the Impala, and for what? Dean was going to lose everything for Castiel Novak?! It didn't seem right at all, it seemed incredibly wrong. He wasn't worth Dean's fucking time, let alone his entire LIFE. Anxiety wrapped around Cas's throat, trying to choke him. He kept running, sending a backward glance up at the rapidly darkening sky. The wind picked up, there was going to be storm tonight.

The door banged on it's hinges as Castiel desperately flung himself into Dean's home.
"Dean!" he called out in a panic, but the house seemed strangely vacant. It was too quiet. "Dean!" he cried, with more force but there was still no answer.
Castiel ran a shaky hand through his messy hair, the anxiety he was feeling seemingly had multiplied. Quickly, he checked the ground floor and found no sign of his boyfriend. He then took the stairs up two at a time, the thudding sound of his footsteps ringing in the too-quiet house. With the same desperation as he had before, Cas searched the remaining rooms upstairs. He threw open doors until finally he flung open the one that opened into Dean's office and he found him there, head in his hands staring blankly at the carpet.
"Dean," he sighed in relief and in worry, flying to his side and crouching down near him. He laid a tentative hand on his thigh. "Baby?" Cas whispered, the tears already starting. A profound wave of guilt washed over him, he had done this.
Dean lifted his head and fixed his gaze on Cas. His beautiful green eyes were full of fear, full of worry.
"I lost my job," he said numbly.
Something in Cas recoiled in pain, he loved Dean more than anything in the entire world, more than his own life. And, he realized with a shock of personal revulsion, that the pain Dean was in now was all of his own making.
Dean reached out, and he touched Cas's face wistfully with the back of his fingers. Cas almost winced, it was so full of sorrow. He let himself drop down onto the carpet beside the office chair.
"I'm so sorry," he breathed.
A single tear rolled down Dean's sculpted face which he hurriedly wiped away as soon as he realized that it was there. "It's not your fault baby," he replied, his voice shaking but holding a strong willfulness for Cas to understand that it wasn't on him.
"How can you say that?" Cas replied brokenly. "Of course it is, I'm the one who caused all this I mean if it wasn't for me you'd still have a job and a salary and oh my god Dean you've lost everything!" Cas's babbling quickly dissolved into shaking sobs, he felt crippled by self-reproach. He turned his head away from Dean's touch and avoided his stare.
"No baby, no no this isn't your fault!" Dean said desperately, voice rising. "I'm the one who pursued you and I know how hard you worked to get into school and I've ruined that for you! Don't you understand baby I've ruined everything for you!" Dean held his hands out pleadingly, begging for Castiel to understand. His tears were flowing freely now.
"Dean," Castiel weeped, putting his face in his hands.

They were both so despondent, faced with the unknown and unable to determine what the hell they were going to do next. It was as if they had each been disconnected from one another, unable to come to a point of common ground. Dean felt like the entire thing was his fault, and so did Cas and neither of them wanted to admit that they both shared the blame - they loved each other too much and yet they were divided. Thunder rumbled outside.

"What are we going to do?" Dean whispered after quite a few minutes.
Castiel looked up, his red-rimmed eyes a shocking colbalt blue, but he looked furious this time instead of sad. "You should have cut me out of your life when you had the chance," he cut, voice low and dangerous.
"Cas-" Dean started, but Castiel cut him off.
"No I mean it. All I do is fuck shit up for people. I fucked everything up for you! I even fucked it up for myself. So I'm done, I'm done hurting other people." Castiel shakily got to his feet, but with determination.
Dean looked at Cas, wide-eyed and terrified. He had a terrible slick and disturbing feeling in his torso, like something bad was going to happen. Something very bad. "No Cas, whatever you're thinking of doing - no," he spoke evenly and seriously.
Cas's lower lip trembled, and the tears bloomed back into his eyes. "I don't want to hurt anyone else."
"You didn't hurt me Cas!" Dean said, standing. "You could never hurt me!"
Cas shook his head roughly. He had to do something, something that would make everything right again. He couldn't just stand here and watch Dean's life crumble at his feet! He could not watch that knowing that he was the one who'd done it.
"Cas!" Dean shouted, stepping across the floor before roughly grabbing his wrist. "You are never going to leave me, I am never going to leave you! I would walk through fucking hell and back for you!" Dean roared.
Everything Cas was feeling suddenly melted and was replaced by something else, it was fear, cold cold fear. Dean was grabbing him and shouting. Why was he shouting?? He could hear Riley in the background, he could almost feel Riley's fists on his face, but he didn't see Riley, he saw Dean. Somewhere he was aware of rain falling urgently down on a roof, and thunder crashing. With a terrified whimper he managed to pry his wrist from Dean's tight grip. He could hear Riley still but it was mixed with the echoes of Dean yelling at him. In a panic, Castiel turned and ran, as fast as he could.

***

The sky was falling down, icy rain like needles on the cold street. Cas had been running but it wasn't long before he'd gotten disorientated. It was so dark out and misty and lighting was flashing like a pack of rabid paparazzi were taking pictures. Cas ran his fingers through his wet hair, he couldn't see and he could barely breathe, he wasn't even sure how he'd ended up here. Dean was shouting at him, he remembered that, and his raised voice had triggered some kind of flashback? That was Cas's best guess, he never could recall much from when he freaked out. Usually he wasn't this calm after an episode like that but the rain was so cold it had immediately snapped him back to reality. His clothes were already soaked through and the wind was howling like an angry beast. The storm was so loud, blurry shapes whipped around in the dark light a nightmare. It was so very cold and black. Where was he? Where was Dean? Castiel wrapped his arms around himself, batting his wet eyelashes against the torrent and trying to prevent a shiver from shaking his body. His t-shirt was nothing against the unrelenting weather.
"Dean!" he called out, finding with a grim humour that it was the word that came to his lips before 'help'. "Dean!" he shouted, but the wind tore away his words before they'd hardly left his mouth. "Dean!" he shouted again with increasing terror. He was going to die out here, he was going to freeze.
"Cas!"
Castiel turned sharply around, what was that? Had he really heard that? He squinted against the rain and thought he saw a light. A faint light, it was bobbing in the darkness. "Dean!" He started to run towards it, feeling like a half-dead man running towards a mirage. The light came closer but still remained small.
"Cas!" came another searching faint call and suddenly he was there, like the messiah, like an angel delivered. Dean was standing in the rain, just as soaked and shivering as Cas was, flashlight in hand. And Cas fell into his arms, and it was like coming home.

***

A hot shower, Dean's hands all over his freezing skin, making him a person, bringing him back to life. Hot tea, rousing him, unthawing him and then bed, Dean's bed and his hands again, his lips and then what came after. They were one being they realized, you couldn't have one without the other, if simply because of the imbalance. Dean and Cas couldn't be torn apart because they simply belonged together as the sun and the moon do. They laid in that bed afterward and held each other as the storm continued to rage. Their healing was total, an unspoken conclusion. What had happened wasn't either of their faults, it was an unfortunate product of the love they shared and if it had been destructive this time that was fine, because they had each other and they would weather this storm and all the others.

Cas fell asleep first, and Dean lay there breathing with him, if nothing else, glad that they existed in the same lifetime.

a/n: okay this is gonna be a long ass authors note so if you're not interested in the writer (aka me) just move on, no hard feelings pls continue

FOR ALL YOU WHO DO CARE however, i've got a few questions to ask you!
(1) I just started a one-shot book and I'd love if you guys would check it out. Also I'm taking suggestions for it so if you want to you can leave a comment and I'll write your idea (and credit you ofc) there's more info in the description of it (it's called Hella Lit Oneshot Book btw)
AAAND (2) If i started a "Rants and Updates" book would any of you read it?? It would have stuff in it about me, shit about my fics (maybe like bonus features and deleted scenes idk??) lemme know what u think

okay that's all!! thank you for your time, and thank you sm for reading Teach Me!! mwah xx