Porn Tech Support (Wattys 2019)

alcohol + vague sexual tension can get you anywhere

dante | nova | dresden | max

[SNAPCHAT]

pemberleynova97:

BITCH

GET ONLINE

RIGHT NOW

WE'RE GOING OUT TONIGHT

dresden_forrester:

what

why

what happened 

slow down 

go back and repeat

pemberleynova97:

ok so dante said he's done with exams and that he's out tonight

he asks me if i wanna come along and said i can bring you

and the world is falling apart because idk what to wear

dresden_forrester:

fucKKK i won't be off work until seven

so i'll just have to meet you at the place after work

and you can just send me pics of what you're gonna wear

pemberleynova97:

how hoe-ish should i go

cleavage or nah

tight jeans that outline the curve of my ass or nah

dresden_forrester:

your ass is your best feature

so go with tight jeans with that lace-up top from forever 21

pemberleynova97:

oooh yess ok!

so i'll text you the location of where to meet and you'll meet us after work?

dresden_forrester:

yep!

[SNAPCHAT]

dantegetonmyinferno:

hey so nova is coming with us

attackonthemax:

great so i'm another 3rd wheels on one of your fuckboy missions

dantegetonmyinferno:

ok first of all, nova and i are just friends 

so nothing's going to happen

attackonthemax:

um yes it is

you're talking about a bunch of twenty-year old canadians with alcohol and poor decision making

you're not fooling anybody

remember condoms, ok

straight sex is very dangerous

there is a high risk you might contract children from it

and they will ruin your life.

dantegetonmyinferno:

i always have condoms with me no matter what

attackonthemax:

well you sure have high expectations for everything

dantegetonmyinferno:

I carry condoms around since freshmen year dude

not because I expect to use it but just to keep the hope alive

attackonthemax:

if it works, it works

should i bring a date???

i'm still so attracted to that 16 year old highschooler fml but like he's not legal :( :(

dantegetonmyinferno:

If you're attracted to people who are still in high school, a great way to get over that is to talk to one of them

attackonthemax:

you're salty for someone who's about to get his dick sucked

dantegetonmyinferno: 

NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN

attackonthemax

you know the more you repeat it, the less true it becomes

so i should be avoiding the dorm

since you know i'm very allergic to straight people having sex

dantegetonmyinferno:

why am i even friends with you

attackonthemax:

you love me and you know it

--

all i ever wanted was a friend like max :( :(

song of the update: 13 by LANY

dedicated to summerbackthen.