Carolina [COMPLETED]

six

Throughout the entire day after that night I was thinking about it. No matter how much work I was doing, the memory of Jason's breath on my neck never left.

Of course, Harry was laying next to me when I woke up the next morning, and snoring quietly. He looked so peaceful. And that was when the guilt set in.

A mere few hours prior, Jason had been in the exact same bed.

Touching me.

Harry could be lazy and frustrating, and inconsiderate at times, but he was also innocent and didn't deserve to be cheated on. And yet I'd done it.

What kind of girlfriend was I?

Even as I questioned and hated myself for what I'd done, I knew I was weak. I knew it was bound to happen again and I was already kicking myself for it.

I didn't see Jason the next day, but I didn't feel like I needed to; the previous night was still fresh. I was sure if I saw him, I'd fail to look him in the eyes without heating up.

Being up early every morning meant I rarely saw Harry awake until I came home later in the day. I was able to hide the bruises on my neck with the help of make up, so I didn't have evidence written all over me. But it only increased the guilt bubbling inside me.

What was I supposed to do when I got home?

Why was I dumb enough to let Jason put his lips on my skin?

Why didn't he think to keep them to himself?

My mind raced with the same thoughts, so much that I began to feel suffocated. The restaurant was just as busy as usual and it felt as though all that control I lost had come flooding back.

It was laughing in my face.

I took the chance at lunchtime to wash two painkillers down with a bottle of water; the headache shifting from behind my eye sockets to the back of my skull.

There was a vibration in my pocket, but I didn't bother to check my phone and carried on eating my pasta, enjoying the silence of the break room.

It turned out to be Jason, and he'd sent another by the time I checked my phone while I was walking home. I both loved it and hated it.

I couldn't.

That wouldn't be right.

Nothing about it is right.

Could I?

I replied, heart beating fast. I glanced up once or twice to make sure I wasn't going to walk into someone or trip over something.