Henry's Meowing Book

Weird

Ya know...life is really weird sometimes. Sometimes the big moments in your life don't hit you until later. Sometimes, the realization takes time, but it hits hard later. Example: my recent, yet not-so-recent breakup.

At first, it wasn't that bad. It was, like, okay, we're done now and that's it. For a while, I was actually glad that it happened. I was living my life in peace. But after a while, the feelings and emotions began to set in. All the pain, loss, and isolation. Isolation. That's the key word. After spending so much time with that person, I didn't know what to do anymore now that we broke up. I always had to avoid her because things would get awkward and tense really fast. I had to sacrifice hanging out with some of my friends just so that I wouldn't be torn to pieces by the tension in the air. And whaddayaknow, she ends up stealing them away from me. Exclusion. New feelings began to emerge. Anger, jealousy, basically a bunch of negative stuff that I didn't want to feel. So I made new friends, got to know more people, tried to distract myself from all of that negative mojo. It didn't work. Soon, those feelings were replaced by something much darker, much more gloomy and depressing. I dunno, I wouldn't call myself emo, but it definitely hurt. It just...hurt. I found myself pondering about life in the middle of class, and people would always ask me why I looked so sad. I just shrugged it off, like the classic anti-social person I am. I really don't know how to explain it. But...yeah. It finally hit me. The depression and pain of breakup. It sucks. A lot. Yeah. I figured that out finally.

Yeah, I dunno why I chose to talk about here. The girl I broke up with probably doesn't read this anymore, so I don't think I have to worry about her ever reading this. But, uhh...yeah...

Do I regret the breakup? A little. Am I happy that we're no longer together? Indeed. Do I regret not trying to let our relationship end on a high note where we're not trying to rip each other to shreds? Definitely. Do I regret getting into a relationship with her rather than just remaining friends with her? Absolutely.

Life is full of twists and turns. No one knows what's going to happen, and certainly not you or me. We will never fully understand the substantial role that pain plays on the human mind. It's very strange. There exists such a fine line where love can easily turn to hate, where happiness can easily turn to pain.