a good kind of fire.

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dt; etherealrcse <3
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"daddy, what's a soulmate?"

i turn around and put down my book, looking up at the old stairway that leads up to the top of my house.

there clara stands, her teddy bear in one hand, her other hanging at her side. she cocks her head, her wild dark brown hair a mess from sleep.

"what did you say?"

"i asked what a soulmate was," says clara, bouncing her toes on the wooden step. "i heard my teacher say the word at school today."

i bite my lip.

"you should be asleep," i say, putting my bookmark in my book and setting it down.

"yeah, i know," clara says, bringing her left hand up to her face, pushing stray hairs out of it. "but i can't sleep until i get this question out of my head. so, daddy, what's a soulmate?"

i smile slightly, and sigh.

"come here."

clara smiles and thunders down the remaining steps, dragging her bear, who she calls promise, with her. she walks over to the couch and i lift her up, plopping her down in my lap.

"so, you wanna know what a soulmate is, huh?" i ask, tickling her stomach lightly.

she giggles. "yes! stop tickling me!"

i stop and let her giggles subside.

"well," i start. "a soulmate isn't really a thing, it's a feeling you have for another person."

"what kind of person?" clara asks.

"a person that you love."

"like the way you love me?" she asks, her big, brown eyes growing. i chuckle lightly.

"not exactly, baby," i say. "i love you more than just about anything in the universe, but you're not my soulmate."

"oh," she huffs, and flops back into my chest. her nose scrunches. she's thinking.

"have you ever had the feeling of a soulmate, daddy?"

i nod my head. "i have."

"what does it feel like?"

now it's my turn to think. how do i dim this down to a four-year-old's understanding?

"it's like," i begin. "it's like a million butterflies fill your stomach all at once, and won't go away."

"like the butterflies that come when i get nervous?" clara asks.

"kind of. except these butterflies aren't bad ones, they're good ones. they make you feel funny, but in a good way."

"what else does it feel like?" she asks.

"it feels like a fire that's spreading all over your body," i say. "but, once again, it's not a bad fire; it's a good one."

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