When. (Our Second Life)

Chapter 16

*Rose's POV*

"See you guys next Friday, bye!" Trevor said to the camera.

I clicked the off button and glared at him playfully.

"Why'd you do that?!" I say, crossing my arms.

"What?" he was messing with me.

"You know what... you could've at least told me!" I say.

He just laughs at my pouting.

"How about we watch a movie?" he says, obviously trying to change the subject.

"Fine."

He got up and moved the video equipment to the side. Then he lay down on the couch with his head in my lap. I grab the remote and start looking through movies on Netflix. I end up choosing some cheesy romantic-comedy-action-whatever movie.

Trevor got up and turned off the lights, pulled the shades, and grabbed some chips from the kitchen. When he returned, he resumed his spot with his head resting on my lap again.

I didn't really get into the movie, but Trevor seemed to like it enough. I absentmindedly ran my fingers through his hair. Honestly, I just zoned out, thinking about our relationship, and how I had doubted it before.

Why can't I tell him about everything? I thought. Is it because I think he'll judge me? No, I don't think he would do that... I know my past is kind of sketchy. Would he accept that, or would he push me away like everyone else? I don't know... I just don't know if I love him like I say I do. Maybe? Maybe not? Why can't I just be sure? Maybe because my scars aren't what he looks for in a girl. If I showed him that part of me he would freak...

Before I know it, the credits are rolling. Trevor stretches, sits up, then looks at me.

"You okay?" he asks. I think he senses my stress... He can always tell when I am tense.

"Um," I quickly reject the idea of telling him. It would ruin our relationship. "Yeah, yeah.. I'm fine." I say. Though I don't know if I was very convincing.

He doesn't seem to suspect anything, so he just lets it go.

No. I can't keep secrets from him... he's my boyfriend! We NEED trust.

I take a deep breath.

"Trevor," I begin.

"Yeah?"

"There's something you should know about me." I say, looking at him and seeing his reaction.

"Okay," he says, giving me his full attention.

"Well maybe I should just show you."

He looks confused, but I just do it.

I lift the hem of my tank top, revealing the worst of my scars. I hear him take in a sharp breath.

"Rose..."

I just ignore him. This takes a lot of courage and focus... its weird showing him, since the only other person who's seen is Sam.

I roll up the seams of my spandex, exposing the scars on my thighs.

That's when he cracked.

"Rose, why would you do this?" he asked, his eyes full of worry. I saw tears that were forming, but hadn't spilled yet.

"Well... you know my uncle?" he nods. "Um. He abused me." I just say it. No beating around the bush.

He puts his arms around me and holds me tight. He's taking this better than I expected.

"How?" He whispers.

"Verbally, physically... sexually." It's hard saying the last part.

He holds me even tighter.

"Rose..." He just said, over and over again.

When he finally pulled away, his face was blotchy and his eyes were bloodshot. I didn't cry this time... I didn't really feel any emotion.

Why am I not feeling anything? Shouldn't I be feeling some sort of relief? It's just not there. The spark is gone. I hate it. I want to love Trevor. I really, really want to. But you can't really force love, can you?

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A/N: Short chapter, I know. Sorry guys :( *insert crying emoji*

Ily,

~Hannah