When. (Our Second Life)

Chapter 18

After a long day with Trevor, I decided it was long overdue for some me time.

I quickly undress and take a long, hot shower. I had plugged my phone into my iHome, and blasted my music. I sang every song that came on at the top of my lungs, knowing each and every lyric, earning some well deserved yells from Jc to "pipe the fuck down". I just laugh at his insults as I shut the water off, finally feeling very relaxed.

I slide on my comfiest leggings and hoodie, along with fuzzy socks. I don't bother drying my hair- too much work.

I light some candles and turn off all the lights, then grab my laptop and catch up on every social media I have. Now, it's time for a binge on Netflix. And by binge, I mean an entire season.

I scroll through all the shows, then settle on the Fosters. I decide I like this show, and continue on after the first episode. Halfway through the second one, I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I say. When I see who it is, I smile. "Sammyyyyy!!!" I screech, running up to him and tackling him. He catches me, though. I guess I'm not-so-sneaky.

"Hey, Rosie." his voice sounds worn and tired.

"You okay?" I ask, looking into his deep brown eyes. I notice he has huge dark circles under his eyes, and the white part is bloodshot.

He sets me down, sighs, and runs his hand through his hair.

"Not really."

I stay silent, waiting for him to explain.

"Um." He mumbled. He sighed again, but this time it was shaky, like the ones you get right before or after you cry.

"Hey..." I wrap my arms around him, and he wrapped his arms around my back, hugging me tightly as if I was his lifeline. I feel him shake subtly, and I hold him even tighter.

When he let go, I noticed him figit with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, pulling them further down then they really needed to be. I pulled him to my bed, and we sat down.

"Sam." is all I say. I gently grab his left hand and roll up the sleeve, seeing about ten new cuts on his wrist. I wasn't going to judge him, I wasn't going to ask why, I wasn't going to tell him all the reasons why he shouldn't. Because I understand. I know what it's like to have to resort to this. It comforts you, it's a release. I know this from experience. And even though I don't anymore, it doesn't mean I don't want to. It just means I want to get better.

So, I just waited until he was ready to talk.

He let out a deep breath, then explained.

"I've been having... I've been having thoughts of suicide." My jaw dropped open, and I could already feel the tears forming. My throat had that painful lump that wouldn't go away. I just laid on his chest, listening to his heart, just like I had when I told him my life story.

"I've just been getting so much hate. Everyone tells me I should just kill myself..."

"Don't you EVER listen to them..' I say firmly. "You have a bright future. There are so many people out there who love you. And if there aren't, well, you have me. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are amazing, and you are loved. Don't let ANYONE tell you different."

He stayed silent.

Just then, I hear footsteps in the hall. The door opens, and Trevor comes in and immediately starts searching my room.

"Hey Rose. I think I forgot my phone here, I just came back to grab-" he takes one look at me and Sam and his face goes blank. "What is going on."

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A/N: Super short, I know! But I've been pretty busy lately sooo yeah.

Love ya!

~Hannah