Please Be There (An Anorexic Girl Story)

Please Be There Ch. 12

Chapter Twelve

Brenda

On my first day of therapy, Mrs. Rose walked me in, had me sit down, and went to the front desk to sign me up. In the other room, I could hear crying. I was scared. I thought about getting up, and running out of this joint, but I was sure Mrs. Rose would find me if I did.

"Ms. Foster?" Someone called.

"Good luck Brenda," Mrs. Rose smiled, "I'll see you in an hour." She patted my shoulder, and then walked out of the building. I slowly walked into the office.

"Take a seat," The woman instructed. I did as I was told, and took a seat in front of her. I pulled my feet onto the chair with me, and played with the bracelets on my wrist. "My name is Penny," The woman continued, "And you are?"

"Brenda Foster," I answered meekly.

"And why are you here?" Penny asked.

I gulped loudly, and looked away. Tears burned in my eyes. I had never flat out confessed it to someone. So the secret burned inside my throat. "I have anorexia," I murmured, brushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

"And how did that start?" Penny nodded.

"I don't know," I lied.

"Brenda," She warned, "We must always be honest in this room. I'm not going to share your secrets with anyone."

"Not with Mrs. Rose?" I questioned, "Or a doctor?"

"Not if you don't want me too," She shrugged, tapping her pen on the folder she had in her lap.

"I guess I became anorexic at the age of seven," I murmured in a shaky voice.

"My Goodness," Penny gasped, "That's awfully young."

"Are you judging me?" I snapped.

Penny gave a small sad smile. "I pity you," She murmured, "Now why don't you tell me what started your disease."

"No," I hissed.

"Why not?" Penny asked.

"Because it's not worth talking about," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"There, you're wrong," Penny muttered, scribbling something on the clip board in her arms.

"What're you writing?" I asked.

"Stuff," She murmured, and wrote something else. Suddenly I felt very self-conscious. I needed to get out of here, and I needed to get out fast. Penny of course, wasn't done with the questions though.

"Who's your legal guardian?" Penny asked.

"My brothers," I grumbled, playing with the fringe on the bottom of my shirt.

"And why is that?" Penny asked.

I looked around. I hated being interrogated. It gave me the chills, and I was afraid of the things she was writing on the clipboard. "Is there a ladies' room?" I snapped.

I really didn't mean for it to come out in a snap like that, but it did. Penny looked a fended for a second. Then she gave me a warm smile. "Can't you wait?" She replied.

"No," I answered.

"Well I get paid whether you're here or not." Penny said with an evil smile.

I sighed loudly, because I didn't want to waist Mrs. Rose's money. "Can we talk about something else?" I murmured, crossing my legs.

"Like what?" Penny asked.

"Anything besides me," I shrugged.

Penny laughed, which made things even worse. I bit down hard on my lip, and dug my finger nails into my palm. "That's kind of the point," Penny chuckled, "To get your feelings out."

"But I think about myself all of the time," I argued. "I don't need to talk about it here."

Penny raised a thin eyebrow. "Or do you," She muttered.

"I don't," I told her, and she chuckled again. I blushed deeply, and looked down at my shaking hands in my lap. I bit down hard on my bottom lip.

"Well then," Penny said. "I think we're almost done."

"I have to go," I murmured.

"We still have five minutes left," Penny argued.

"I'll collect my money at the front desk," I told her, standing up.

"But you don't get your money back," Penny said. She stood up too, and I stopped. I looked at her. She was totally serious.

"Why not?" I asked.

"That money was already put in for a month of visits," She explained, "No refunds."

I sighed loudly. "Well is there at least another psychiatrist?"

Penny winced, and shook her head. "Sorry," She murmured.

"I have to go," I growled. I pushed past Penny, and scurried out of the room. Before Penny could say anything, I slammed the door behind me. The poor woman at the front desk jumped.

"Is everything alright?" She asked in a sweet voice.

"Fine," I snapped, and darted outside.

Outside, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited. My legs bounced a little as I waited for Mrs. Rose to come. I just wanted to get out of here quickly, and never come back again. When I got in the car, I would straight up tell her that I wouldn't do it.

So when Mrs. Rose pulled up, I hoped in the front seat, and opened my mouth to talk. Before I could though, she cut in. "How was it?" She asked excitedly. "Feeling better yet?"

I saw the anticipation in Mrs. Rose's eyes. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. So I buckled up, and nodded my head. "I am actually," I told her, "Thank you."

"This was such a good idea," Mrs. Rose raved, pulling out of the parking lot. I gave her a warm smile, and looked outside my window. "Something wrong?" Mrs. Rose asked.

"No," I told her.

"Would you like ice cream to celebrate?" Mrs. Rose suggested.

"I'm actually not hungry," I told her. Mrs. Rose pressed her lips into a tight line, and looked at me. "What?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Seems like we just had a setback," She grumbled, and continued to drive.

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